+fLyCian's World+

Sudden Realisation

2006-01-20T22:50:00.000+08:00

The truth is, I've been feeling stressed out these few days, or even 1 or 2 wks. Been putting on my usual crazy self when i go out. But i feel choked up inside when silence haunts me. It's been really great that my jobs are going well, and there are the recent celebrations to liven moods up. I've been telling myself not to let all these stress get hold of me coz i know there are others out there who have worse problems to face and i have to be the strong one to cheer them up. But, seriously, who will stop by just to wait for me, catch hold of me even without asking wad happened coz u possibly realise im weird and lift me up until i recover? I dun wan to be a drama-mama and make u feel that i simply love seeking attention. Becoz this is my blog, i write wad i feel. I doubt anyone has that patience coz simply, our own lives are too busy for simplistic things, or things that are of less importance. Is this the so-called reliance or dependence on others tt u may say? Or rather, do u think im just putting a false facade just to let time pass by? Or would u rather i shut myself from the world and u all until im ready to face it again?

To u all, I guess I seem normal on the whole. haha. I wonder, wad sort of person am i really to anyone of u out there. Give me some time to recover.

-A Geisha's Job-

2006-01-18T17:45:00.000+08:00

1st thing first! I just woke up! Haha.12.57pm. Wad a _____. Haven't been updating for a long while! I know. hee. I've been partially recovering from my illness, partially slacking, partially reading books, partially going for theory lessons, partially have been reading classifieds (and now no more!) and most importantly, mostly sleeping! HA. Life. Nah la...kidding. Everybody seems busy with their own job, finding jobs,going for interviews and everything...hardly get to go out with them and u all! And i even got my basic theory test and SAT exam (Eve of CNY! Bah!) next wk!

The week that I was SICK and I still had the audacity to eat good food at Marche to celebrate Bis Bdae. HAHAHA.

The moments when I look sickly...Do i? HAHA.

Presenting to UUUUU...the day b4 I got to be a GEISHA (as a waitress in a jap restaurant. had to wear kimono which made mi look like a maid.) (-____-lll)

It is said that GEISHAS can speak with their eyes, esp as apprentices in order to gain attention! Soooooo...I tried...DUN LAUGH.

DID I SUCCEEDED IN LOOKING PEK CHEK?!?!!! DID I?! DID I??!!! Bladdy Lim said i looked like a clown. I think i looked like i got SAUSAGE LIPS!

The next day, she accompanied me to go to work and I knew she had been a geisha entertaining jap customers last fri evening...sooooo...

U SEE?! SHE'S BEEN TRYING TO SEDUCE MEN! I MEAN...LITTLE BABIES!

See the diff? HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA. My eyes are DOUBLE the size of hers. UH-OH.

We went lunching at I-FORGOT-THE-NAME shop.

We were the only customers coz the place is pretty ulu! It was the place Anli brought me to earlier when i had my gums ache like i was bout to die. I ordered the same fish&chips (the place's known for seafood) and the woman did not hesitate to DEVOUR all my food!
HAHA. Caught red-handed. Wad a pig.
Oh, and for no reason, I kinda lurveeee this pic coz of the woman's expression!
I swear I didn't put eyeliner. Really!
After lunching, we had to cross over to the other mrt entrance when we realized that...
I ALMOST PUKED.
AND FINALLY...
!!!!!!

We were strolling at Clarke Quay coz there was still 2hrs b4 work starts. Instead of getting into frenzy coz we got lost and couldn't find our way to Grand Copthorne's Hotel (coz beneath it is the place tt i work) and tot tt some magician had cast a spell to disappear the building, we called Anli a million times when she was working to ask her for directions (THANKS WOMAN!) and took a whole load of crazy photos. Haha.

This was right after I called Anli when we got lost. MADNESS.

Rainy day! Luckily it was only drizzling when we went out of Liang Court after buying earrings and eating minimelts! HAHA.

I like this entrance! Forbbiden City!

And i like this Indian waitress! HAHA!

When we got tired from walking around in circles...haha...I told the woman I look like a samsui woman today and she...

We spotted a little boi and the woman wans to devour him like devouring her soft cream ice-cream! EVIL! The boy's grandpa was laughing when i was taking this pic. Haha.

An OBVIOUS sign to show that she doesn't let go of little toddlers! Even statues!!!

Gallery Hotel! I like.

AND MY FAVOURITEST BRIDGE!

The husky is soooo gorgeous! Ms Lim wanted to make dog meat out of it if it comes near to her. How evil.

And more silly pictures...

ZHOU CHU QU JIU YOU LUUUUU~LALALALAALALAAA~ Until i see this...
WTH.
We got bored we almost SNORED on the pathway.

anddddddd...acted like we were pregnant ladies...

HENG THERE WAS NO ONE AROUND AH! IF NOT SUPER PAI SEH!!! I LOOK SO FAT CAN. HAHAHA. AND HER TUMMY LOOKS SO BIG!

And finally!!! TA DAAAAA~

GRAND COPTHORNE'S HOTEL!!!!!

Robertson bridge. We needed to cross over it to get to the hotel. Satisfied look!

It is her turn to faint as she's going home and need to walk and walk again, and my turn to work! Hey I also did a lot of walking by waitressing!

My kimono that makes mi look like a maid! I recall seeing a School of Tea Ceremony at Liang Court too! Geishasssss.

Those are some of the pics of my journey to 1st day of work. Haha. Work was pretty exciting. And i was pretty SHY! Sheesh. I had to learn how to wear a kimono by myself and remember a whole load of things!!! Towards the end i was getting better at communicating. Haha. No doubt I did several mistakes! Like holding the wrong side of chopsticks when setting the table, using the wrong cloth to wipe the cigarette dish, throwing the used tea leaves in the wrong place,
making the tea that's too thick in colour and the FUNNIEST thing was when pouring the leftover black light soy sauce into a mug, the cover dropped into the mug that's filled with like 500ml of soy sauce! HAHAHA. I couldn't even see the cover in the mug. Then the senior whose name was Vincent, a part-timer too, who spends daytime repairing airplanes, was laughing like a prawn...HEI HEI HEI! His laughter was liddat lah. Haha. Then i got so pai seh i blushed! He helped mi to retrieve it but in vain. And Candy the overall in-charge, the woman who gave mi this job helped mi retrieved it. Haha. Madness.

Even one group of jap customers besides the ah peks and uncles in Chinatown ji siao mi lah. There was this group. I remember, table 02, outdoor table. This man kept looking at me. He asked if i was new. Then i went back to Candy and told her as i smiled when coming back. She said the way u pour tea they surely know that u are new lah! Haha. So i became more observant and did wad the seniors did for the other customers. I was exceptionally awkward when i always walked past table 02 coz tt man kept looking at me. All i replied was with a smile and a nod. I couldn't have possibly thrown my shoe at him! Haha. He's not cheeko lah. He's just...i dunno how to say...perhaps he just treats me as a newbie...like an apprentice. He even asked mi where am i from. And he kept nodding at me when he got noth to say. Zzz.

There was no customers that called mi HOI HOI HOI like what ms lim said leh. Aniway, the staff's good. I feel like a toddler there coz besides mi being the youngest, the next youngest is 25 yrs old! They're all really friendly! I LIKE! They're all really caring coz they asked where i stay and asked if im tired, even the female cook! Candy even said i could drink water freely when im tired and bothered to ask me and change my shift till 10.30 instead of 11 coz she thinks it's quite tiring for me to change bus and mrt. (Actually I got direct bus home! Now den i know! Hee.) They speak in canto sometimes coz most of them are Cantonese, which makes mi feel at ease coz to me, I think that ppl who speak in dialect often feel at ease with each other, even though i dun understand a single word they say. I dun mean vulgarities hor. HAHA. Shuhui, a full-timer, asked mi which dialect am i from, and another funny thing...there was a private room for the customers in the restaurant...so when we cleared the table, there was leftovers. Meat & Tempura untouched. Then shuhui ate and told mi to try eating it. She shook her head and said lang fei! LOL. The dishes were good ok! Haha. And when i see the bills, MY EYES POPPED OUT. The cheapest bill was 120+, and the most ex was 380+. Haha. Prepare MASTERCARD if u wan mi to serve u. HAHAHAHAHA.

The restaurant's owner is the chef himself, as Ms Lim and Candy have taught me. His name is Nagae-san, and hence the restaurant is named after him. Nagae Restaurant. Selling authentic Jap cuisines. He's really nice, pretty charming too, age around 40+ or 50?! Haha. Aniway, another SUPER SILLY encounter! I was about to leave and say goodbye to Nagae-san when I was told he was in the changing room, so i went there...and GOODNESS GRACIOUS! The men changing in there left the curtain half-closed! So i could see them u know...NOT NAKED, but u know...little clothing. OH MAN. They realized it and shouted YES?!?!!?!!! hahaha. They were laughing hysterically at the guy who's been seen by me lah. OH GOODNESS. I felt super pai seh. I quickly asked where Nagae-san was and then left the restaurant. Hahaha. OMG lah. silly, Silly, SILLY! =X

My legs ache like mad when i reached home! worse than running 2.4km! haha. Im gonna work on thurs evening again! Haha. And leave all those silly encounters behind! It's a SUPER DUPER LONGGGGGGGGGGG entry rite! I blogged for hrs! Hope it covers wad i haven't been updating for a wk or 2! haha. How are each and everyone of u going on in life? HAVE LOTSA FUN AYE!!! :)

-A Longggggggg Complain Entry by the Hunting Queen-

2006-01-06T01:47:00.000+08:00

It's gonna be a long, boring and messy entry.

I warned you. haha.

Get ready.

You sure you wanna continue reading?

HAHA. Be prepared... Here youuuuuuuuuuu gooooooooooooooooooo!

I AM SO SHAGGED. lol.
Kindly allow me to :LK@R%@^@s,zdn;skf# bout my 'job' as a hunter. This thick-skinned woman went to dunno how mani places just to search for a comfortable job with her interests and the idea of a good pay and working hours.

3 days ago, I didn't even know what was cpf cut about. Days got boring, a little irritated coz of my womanhood's wk and waiting, waiting and more waiting. Travel fees alone to interviews were pretty high. I went to the new adidas shop and asked if they need workers. They said they only need full time (=those who are not schooling/waiting for results). So i went to tcc HR dept for a part time interview with anli and lim. The job requires us to work till late hours...like 2-3am (not everytime, but once in awhile due to changing in shifts) plus with low pay. So i decided to think it through. The other 2 women decided to find other jobs. That night, i found out tt yc's looking for a job too, hence started hunting with him and telling bout tcc.

So we decided to try tcc again the next day...and for me to change it to a full time (to get a higher pay). Tcc wanted full timers and part timers to have at least 6 mths contract...and work till late hrs (as mentioned above). Obviously, yc can't go for it...and i called my mom to tell her bout this. She said it's pretty dangerous and advise mi not to take on this job. I heard from anli tt there's lobang at Carlton for banquets with quite an ok pay, so yc and i decided to go try after tt...since it's near tcc HR dept. We reached there and found out tt there are tonnes of ppl taking interviews, so we had to wait for after lunch. In the meantime, we went for lunch and walked around to see if any shop need helpers. I walked into Giordano and asked for the HR dept, tried calling their number and the HR in-charge was not free/not in to pick up the call! I called until her mailbox was full. haha. and then i couldn't call animore.

When we came back, we had to wait for another half hour, since those interviewers were having lunch. It was kinda rushing coz yc got to go for band prac, and i got pretty tired of all those walking lar. Finally, when we got the chance to get up to the lvl of the HR dept thru a security pass, we found out tt the queue was longgggggggggg, stretched with ah peks and aunties. We got so bored that we left the place without taking the interview. haha. I went home, looked thru Classifieds, tried calling Candy Empire coz they needed staff...BUT, they onli wanted those who are above 20 yrs old. Since I have a fren who works part time in Giordano, I called her to ask her if Giordano need helpers. Came across Classifieds and webbie that Giordano need full timers, but they dun wan students who are waiting for results. I complained that I was shagged. LOL. Fortunately, win and GL have lobang in Marina Mandarin Hotel for part time waitress for Banquets with pretty high pay and their current admin job in ICA. So i decided to take their HR dept numbers and give them a call the next morning.

3rd day, which is today...I purposely woke up at 9am with the help of my frens to call those 2 HR depts. MM Hotel's HR dept...No one picked up the call! ICA...the assistant asked mi to call one hr later to locate her boss. So in my sleepy mood, i wait till 10+am and i made calls again. Again, no one from MM Hotel picked up the phonecall, and the assistant from ICA told mi her boss is not in. Asked me to try after lunch or after 2pm. (-____-lll) I got sian lah. haha. Asked win wad to do now, then he said can try to go MM Hotel directly to ask for form. So i decided to catch some slp before going to MM. 2hrs later, i called ICA for the 3rd time (as it was 12+) and i think the assistant told me she's not in AGAIN. Both of us kinda got fed up lah, coz i kept calling and she kept saying she dunno anithing.. haha. Next, I arrived at MM Hotel and sign up the form for a part time waitress. Now, I have to just wait for their call if they need help. I called ICA after that (2+pm), and the assistant said she's not in the whole day. Try calling the next day at 8 or 8.30am. zzz. Tml if the boss is not in again, I am so going to ROAR in my toilet. LOL.

Lemmi see...i think my skin grew thicker than ever. haha. I think im so despo that i can simply walk into any shop tt i desire working in to ask if they need helpers or not. I went to a total of 8 shops today. Royal Sporting House, Why Pay More (in line with Royal Sporting House), Pacific Coffee, The Coffee Bean, Ben&Jerry's, Gelare, The Body Shop and Marina Mandarin Hotel just to find jobs. haha. ~I AM THE 'CHAMPION'~

Since I have another fren who used to work in Royal Sporting House, i decided to give it a try after asking bout everything bout the job. Royal Sporting House onli wanted full timers (=no fresh school leavers waiting for results), so i didn't know why but i just went in Why Pay More to ask again. I was sooooo touched by this Malay Saleswoman coz she said she'll keep a lookout for me if they need part timers. She told mi to write down my contact number. So sweet rite! Sigh. LOL. For Pacific Coffee and Gelare, the pay was pretty low as a part timer...but we just gave in our particulars aniway. No harm mah. I wouldn't mind working in a cafe too! nice environment! :D The Coffee Bean's 'boss' or the head of HR or sth liddat, gave us a form to fill in, afterwhich he told us he will contact us. But he didn't seem sincere or want to hire us. So kindly heck Coffee Bean for the moment. LOL. Ben&Jerry's was pretty crowded as it's a small shop! But the 'boss' or whoever again, he smiled and asked if we're 'A' lvl graduates waiting for results. We nodded and he said ok, can (with a smile), and handed us a paper to fill in our name and contact number. His smile...oh mann...I was so touched again lah. lol. But tt doesn't necessarily mean that we're hired. HAHA. but the crew looked so young! He said we can wait until by this weekend for his ans. At least he bothered to ans such a qns! And im so dumb to have forgotten to ask him bout the pay! LOL. Last but not least, we tried Body Shop as a full timer. They'll call us if they want us, like wad all the other shops said, just that it's the only full time job tt we sign up for coz most full timers need contract.

IM DONE WITH BLABBERING ALL MY NONSENSE! hahaha. If u dun understand ani or partly of what i've written, JUST KNOW THAT I AM SHAGGED. LOL.painful for ur eyes rite?! lol. Tml i needa call ICA at 8 for a full time job interview...hopefully i can get to go for it! then i won't go out for the weekend busy finding jobs alr. I need a break. LOL. To do my theory hw!!! And I hope with all my might that the other shops will call me asap!!! Sigh. Im such a despo queen. haha.

Luckily, I met some of my sec sch frens and my sec sch history teacher for a last min dinner coz a fren from Indo is finally back after 2 yrs and so, we decided to meet her even though it's last min. Since I was ard the corner after job hunting, I decided to meet them. I miss the good old days. lol. Cleanse my shagged soul for the night. lol. still shagged though, haha, but i felt a little better.

I miss the boy too. Not meeting him this wk too. Sigh. haha. Msged him. No reply. Think he's busily snoring. Took bus home with a few of my frens and on the bus, we met GL's parents. His dad folded origami and gave it to me. I tot he didn't know i'm GL's fren! lol. Nice.

"Finding job isn't easy at all, children." NOW I KNOW. haha.
This grown up baby needs a job RIGHT NOW.
JIA YOU LATER!

No more schooling for me!!!

2006-01-02T19:50:00.000+08:00

ALOOOHAHAHAHAHA!!! I just flew back from North Pole. U guys had fun??
Xmas eve was good, Xmas was good, Anni/New Year Eve was good, New Year was good, Post New Year was good!

Tomolo, I'm gonna shake my butt to Wheelock Place & pray tt they
wanna hire me. Besides thattttt...I gotta read Classifieds like a novel, coz I'm simply too lazy to submit resumes. :)

Other than that, I got to continue theory cls, do my work regularly, read SAT guidebook and invent my own new Highway Code for ALLLLLL the upcoming exams. Seems like schooling huh? hahaha....NAHHHHHH. IM FREE FROM THE EDUCATION SYSTEM FOR AWHILE!!! wahahahahahahahahaha!

Look! No more sheepish & tired school day look trying to smile forcefully...Lesser pimples...Hair won't be like the one above animore! No more baby hair springing out like sprouts...no more cockroaches fringe...No school uniform! No more worrying bout tests...exams...hw deadline...bla bla blaaaaaaaaaaa. NO NEED TO WAKE UP AT 6.45AM!!!!! wheeeeeeee!

Tomorrow, when im out on the streets...ppl must be thinking im from international school...otherwise...im on mc...or im an ah lian...orrrrrrr...whatever they gonna think, i know they must be thinking "WHAT IS THIS YOUNG GIRL DOING HERE?! SHE SHOULD BE SCHOOLING! SHE MUST BE A BAD GAL...ONLY __ YEARS OLD! HOW CAN!!!" lol.

It's EARNING MOOLAH TIME!!! :D
ohhh...still got celebrations and gatherings to attend!
Jobbity Jobbity Job!!!

The Eve of the Eve of XMAS

2005-12-24T00:23:00.000+08:00

haha. this entry has noth to do with xmas. but there was this short excerpt tt i tot was pretty funny.
-ESTHER & me...msn conversation...-
*chatting bout our weights...note tt cranky gal's funny reactions*

esther~ faith and hope is all that i need says:
are u sure u weigh the same as ur grandma?

esther~ faith and hope is all that i need says:
ur grandma so heavy ah? haaaaaa

esther~ faith and hope is all that i need says:
are u sure?!?!! sooo lite. go fatten urself!

esther~ faith and hope is all that i need says:
no la, u can't be lighter anymore! insane...

esther~ faith and hope is all that i need says:
no u can't!!!! then i'll look so fat!!

esther~ faith and hope is all that i need says:
.....then become an ethiopian...is it? IS IT?!?!!!!

esther~ faith and hope is all that i need says:
cannot!

HAHA. rubbish woman. oh..i gonna declare myself...OFFICIALLY BROKE. wheeeee.

yaya. sausage lips...fat lips...thick lips...piggiest pig!

2005-12-18T00:39:00.000+08:00

seeeeeeeeeee la. i wanted to blog a nice entry on a later day! i have to explain wad's my condition now...

So evil ppl say i have chicken sausages lips hor. wad else. pig. ok larrr. i admit im a pig. but chicken sausages is not wad i wan!!! u see how much practises has killed my lips. got deeeeeeeeppppppppp teeth marks too! PLUS, my fingers had cramps at times, and holding the clarinet too long is hurting my thumb badly. and my 2nd finger is getting a blister...or a bump...or sth liddat...i need a finger band!!! I guess the worst is my lips lah. it cracked until dunno like wad. everyday have to peel off the excess skin. bite too hard larrr. coz 2nd & esp 3rd clar is always highly demanded. It's just the low notes lor...and that we're surrounded by trumpets and loud sounding instruments. That's why we can't even hear ourselves when we play FORTISSISSISSISSISSISSSIIIIIIIIIMOOOOOOOOOOO.

cannot be stressed out man. if not i will kill myself. over music?! cannot cannot. muz enjoy the music. i guess it's all the achings, the too mani practises at one go and ya da ya da...tt made mi feel like crap. at least i get to recover for the next few days!

Sooooooo, feel free to call mi chicken pork sausages lips all u wan! hahahahaha! coz by 30th, no moreeeeee!!!! wheeeeeeeeee!!!

GREEN, SILVER, NO RED. haha. LIME GREEN. SHINY SILVER. patterns no patterns? lol. ask the j1.

"O COMEEEE...O YE FAITHFULLLLLL...LALALALALALALALALA~~~~~~~"

A Tribute to the Lousy Queen Of Pigland

2005-12-13T02:29:00.000+08:00

Suddenly, i miss the stupid ger, even though she's coming back in a couple of hrs time. I hope she scared the ghosts in Japan with her horrid looks.

Once upon a time...blaaashittttaaaaaaaaaaa!

An evil china-korean suster was born.

"Pui! Why she so act cute!"

She decided to be nice & took a friendly photo with me. It was palm-tree singing day.

"Why pon lessons huh! just to take nice nice pic izzit, in the canteen facing the sinks & the stupid tv that onli broadcast DV xiao yuan & -999 days to A levels..zzz..onli know how to act innocent..."

Later, evil suster took on a job, that is to irritate me.

"You are the irritance of my life! Die! HAHAHAHAHA!"-quoted from the book-Evil Susterland

I think she totally loves it when she succeeded.

Let's tell u a little more about her sins.
She's a pig. QUEEN OF PIGLAND.

"Yo Ramly! You're with the family! ...Get fatter than fat! ..."

If that's not enuf, ........she loves to cut me, steal the limelight and acts like chicken little, loves stealing my money & present...bla bla bla...*yawn* Too mani sins to name!

"AHHHHH...go die la!always run run run! dance somemore la! dance until u sprain ur ankle!"

"Guai...take this knife & kill urself, okie?"

"Okie master. I shall always obey u, my worthy Empress."

Did she die?! Is she dead yet?!?!?!

Dreads. BANNAISBACK.

Look how ugly she is on Grad day. Hohoho. Im no better. Crap.

& on Prom Night...Evil suster showed her capability of being evil. Reddish. Horns.

We reveal ourselves! After 2 yrs down the road! We celebrate victory with glam!

"oi u. *knock knock* dun mess with us hor. i slam ur ass i tell u. bleah."

"chey! u onli got one puny toothpick to poke us?! u know what we have? our fat arse to crush u! shoo!"

"What!!! U have ur cocolatte gang of drunkards to help u!??! WHATTTT!!! 10000 donkeys! i onli have ummm...this evil suster. nah. take her. dun take me. u having doubts? dun lah! She very powderful! can help u crush ppl! Nah! Take her with u!"

"puhhhh-leaseeeeeeee...*pouts* Dunnnnn takeeeee meeeeeeeee awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..."

The evil suster died after tt unknown raped her. He left her tt ugly. Ugliest of all pigs.

THE END.

ok done. LADY COME BACK! i mua...muahfwahhh...milaa...misssiliuuuuu!
The b4 and after.

2 yrs of aging. Masters of a thousand faces. Entry to womanhood. Love us.

P.S. The 3 other mamas will never be forgotten! All treated with equal, big-hearted, open-minded love! yea we're lesbians. muacks! *hugs* mamas rocks my socks!

"oops. i think the woman is back. SHE HEARD ME CALLING OUT FOR HER!!! SHE'S BACK! Bish is back too! HURRAHHHHHH!!!" shalala~

Drama Queen

2005-12-08T23:00:00.000+08:00

Perhaps when we do things, we expect things to go the way we want it to.
Perhaps at times, we don't understand why others are doing it that way.
We question and doubt and even lament or get angered by what they do and how they feel.
Talk bout human emotions.
Ppl are usually irrational when they are in the state of frustration.

Sometimes, all it takes...is to communicate nicely. But, how do u know what the other is thinking? Perhaps, it all comes down to just listening to what the other has to say, and not assume. Sometimes, i want to be heard. Sometimes, i insist on keeping my mouth shut. Aren't all of u the same?

U get what im trying to say?? ok. a simple example. this is what happened today in msn.

enigma says:
ur display pic sucks. change it! little mermaid is supposed to be cute. she doesn't say "dammit"! Dun u insult my idol. HA!

[lnm][-= l rIcKy l =-]] says:
er xin de nick

ok. so i stooped low and even changed my nick to '+lfLyl+-[342]- ;q3otfhja;skgna[;3tr' leh. wth la. I dun even know what is my nick and ppl have been continually criticising my nick & pic all day long. What's wrong?!

Im having my period lor. And i know it's not a good reason enuf to blow my top at all of u. Im trying to control it and stop criticising me coz i bl**dy h**l have my own views, my own preference & my own taste!

If u think teasing me is very fun esp when im moody, then go get urself a life. or else i will burn ur ass until u look like a baboon.

Life as an Ordinary 'Princess'

2005-12-08T01:06:00.000+08:00

'Princess' is not the word for me to use. haha. Well, it's Prom Night. How can u expect me to dress up like a ragdoll? ooo, btw, im a few days late to blog bout my Pre-PromNite Syndrome and the during and after effects. shalala~

Getting into a booked cab in my unusual self was weird. ok. I was in the cab. & I do what most girls would do, check tt ur bra strips dun go loose, that u dun show off ani fats, check tt ur makeup is good, tidy ur hair and accesories and heels and wadeva until i reach hyatt! lol. if that's not detailed enuf, when i reached hyatt, remember like u have to walk 1 metre to reach the inside of the hotel from where the taxis are...ya there! and then u get tonnes of ppl zooming pass u to get to the well-known far east plaza...ya there lah! goodness. i feel like ppl are staring at me. and the more unease i became. Im not glamorous on that night. Im just saying I managed to look sleek and ordinary and not stand out in the crowd, and i did it. But that's just not how i would dress at all, unless for formal occasions. ok...lalala...skip the jittery part...bla bla bla................

Prom Night was okay. It wasn't very entertaining, but overall, it was good. Like a formal gathering and everyone dressing up in their best for THE night, with lotsa pics taken. I must say that Tess looked v different. haha. Actually, the pics say it all bout the night. So i'll leave the pics to entertain u. whoever who wans them, ask me! It was a real pity when we were about to take a class pic, the cam went low batt. And when i uploaded the pics, some were blur. lol. At least we keep that night of memories in our heads. That will do.

After Prom Night, I heard that CoCoLatte was crowded with ppl stacking up like sardines and some got drunk. eew. Man man cai wo zuo le she me (after Prom Night)...haha.

ooo, should i continue putting make up to cover my pimples or not? And now, it seems that my eyebags are double that of my eyes. And today, when i wore contact lens, i couldn't even open my eyes. Hurt the whole day. JJ says they look swollen. haha. I looked like I cried so much. MJ said "see la, so much for vanity...bla bla bla..." aiyaya..wad to do...

self-note: perhaps i shouldn't kpo so much.

ok...continue reading 'memoirs of a geisha' on a windy, coldy, rainy VERY early thurs morning! Tml still have to complete 3 piano theory papers...haha. 3hrs for each paper. 9hrs in total! Sian zi pua!!!

fLy (1.29am)

Grandpa's 80th Birthday

2005-12-04T02:08:00.000+08:00

phew. BUSY all day long! from 11am to 2am! lol.

today's shopping was fun, elegant, horrendous, rushing and satisfying. HAHAHA! imagine shopping from 11-7. but my legs ache a little onli larh. it wasn't tt bad. IM BACK TO SHOPPING MODE! is that good or bad? haha. Anw, i felt a little weird shopping today coz i am shopping for things i usually dun wear and weird coz some salesgirls dun have taste. hahaha. ok im damn bitchy. *bish* Anw, most of the salesgirls are good! im satisfied! like the one at phuture london and the one where min bought her necklace, that cute malay girl where she had the important decision to pick which necklace is suitable for min. lol. and in the end she got jittery and asked her lady boss for help. HAHA! can refer to min's blog for other details too!

speed shopping was totally funny. and the way i see min laugh when she wore women sandals like 3 sizes bigger than her size...hahahahaha! so farnie can! it's her laughter! hahaha. anw, got everything ready for prom in only 1 day! last min shopping. scary but fun! esp when u have a time limit coz i had another appointment. tess was the advisor. haha. i had to call her twice coz her taste is kinda similar to mine and so i had to ask for her advice when i couldn't decide. *not earrings though. bleah. HA.*

COMBING ALMOST EVERY SHOP WAS TIRING, EXHAUSTING, BUT REWARDING AND FUN, FUN AND FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! (:

Grandpa's bdae was simple. food was great. but my wisdom tooth was killing mi so badly that i think i have to eat porridge for the next few days. liddat the 8 course meal for prom how huh...zzz...the tooth is growing out from the gums. irritating and painful. and it's affecting me. mom asked mi to take panadol. haha. too overboard i guess. just leave it!

What was the happiest was seeing Ye Ye smiling and laughing. He's 80 and he's still going strong. very strong. the cake was the face of a grandpa. v simple and delightful! i like!!! and the happiest of the happiest...was when my family was bout to leave, i stood up from the sofa and said gdbye to everyone, then he came over and said bye to us...He held my hand, pat me a little, looked at me and said "*my christian name. lol* ah! ni shou le ah! *he laughs*" i replied "na li you! ahhh...du shu mah...you ya li..." Then he laughs again. And i giggled. hee.

oh man. His wrinkles makes him look so charming. haha. Suddenly, i remember all those memories when we were young in the old house, when Grandma was still there. then bedridden. and passed away peacely. And so, we said gdbye to each other. He stood at the door until he couldn't see us. and we waved a few times gdbye, both inside the house and even after wearing our footwear outside of the house.

I love my Grandparents. Bliss. Happy 80th Birthday, Ye Ye!

Lost in touch with the world for 4 days

2005-12-02T01:58:00.000+08:00

So it seems like many things happened when i was gone for 4 days. Update me, all right?

Had A3A chalet at changi for the past 4 days. and we lived in front of OCH. haha. it sent me creeps at first budden...the homeliness of the place didn't set me thinking bout the eerie atmosphere. so it's good! Had to go for the class chalet to get things off my chest. A mini holiday i would say.

D&D. looked at blogs and saw how frens said they're excited for prom nite or able to buy things for prom even if u're wasting some money. i haven't even buy prom stuff. it's not i dun wan to. it's just...sigh. trouble stirs. where's the fun?

I can't work too and earn my own income for dec coz i'll like to go back for band pracs. So i'm stuck now in a life full of crap. Why can't they understand how i feel? Nvm.

I'll go on life as normal. It's not good to think bout stuff that makes u pessimistic. Bottling things up in my chest dun really feel too good. I dun wish to go ard sprouting words that may hurt ppl too just becoz of my irritated & disappointing behaviour now. Anw, update to me ur lives now guys. coz i dun really get wad some of u guys meant in ur blog entries.

sayonara!

REVAMPED!!!!!

2005-11-24T17:11:00.000+08:00

ARE U EXCITED?!?!?!?!??!?!?!
PROUDLY PRESENTING TO UUUUUUUUU........
DA REVAMPED TOTALLY EXQUISITE PINKISH RETRODICTIVE BLOGGIE!!!!!!!!!!!!
***jumps around!!! whippee!!!***

More updates coming up soon...teeheehee. Love my life. Love me.
Nice timing. Slp well!

absent

2005-07-12T10:06:00.000+08:00

won't be blogging. until i find back myself. tata.

unpredictable

2005-07-10T14:54:00.000+08:00

Everything is unpredictable. Even the good.
Now i understand why parents keep telling us to not get involved in this.
But still,
one day,
i wish,
i can be your mother's good daughter.
D.E.A.I.R.

prayer

2005-07-08T13:51:00.000+08:00

*having duck rice at this time now. for dinner. angry with dad lah. they went for steamboat and forgot bout me starving at home.*

and in the midst of eating duck rice, im praying. weird ah. but ya. for u all.
esp for you, you and you.
pls be all right. pls let me know u guys are all right.
pls give me the answer tt you will carry on with your life and remain cheerful & optimistic.

and for tt lovely boy! i was switching channels and came upon channel 5 news. some senior SAF lieutenants...4 of them got jailed. 2 of them dunk tt poor soldier in lah. dunno wad happened to tt soldier. perhaps he's tt 19 yr old ns man tt had his funeral 1 wk ago. my heart stopped pounding when i saw it. then nv reply my smses too. thoughts went wild. *choi choi choi* thinking back, think i've flooded u. oopsie. hehe.

ok. i dun wanna talk alot liao. *munching & full of prayers*

recovery!

2005-07-06T13:18:00.000+08:00

recovering from my 1+ mth depression. phew. it sure was tough. but life's getting better each and every day. :)
*dun give up, pals.*
I love everyone of you. all to bits.

wad am i supposed to do

2005-07-04T06:06:00.000+08:00

so tell me. so tell me. so tell me. i need to speak.
and im afraid.
why are we walking separate routes.
im sorry i was weak in front of you.
i didn't want to.
i know i shouldn't waste time crying
instead i should instill confidence and happy memories with you.
but i-
have so many matters to share with you
but i-
didn't.
coz i realised tt u needed ur space
and ur cliques
all except me
i was too much
maybe still
but-
i need your hand.
i ask for more.
i know.
i ask myself.
why can't we have a parents-meeting session
i ask,
why can't we invite each other to go to attend concerts to know each other's life better?
why can't we.
now it seems like i ask too much
so i zipped my mouth
you're not GOD.
i know i over rely on you too much.
but how come it seems that your every action is avoiding me.
maybe i only know how to think too much.
and cry.
im afraid.
im scared.
---my biggest fear is to lose you.
but u see it as my over reliance upon you.
i didn't know wad to say the whole night.
i swear i wanted to make you happy tt nite.
but i failed.
im so sorry.
did u ever know?
i know you have your own problems
i know i was not being good
i wanted to be there
so much.
did u ever know how scared i was when u said u were tired
like u seem u didn't care
i know i can't hold u back
u have your own life.
im really confused.
there's ppl telling me how scared they are to visit their bf's parents
i would be really happy if i get a chance to
but we can't rush.
now you dun have to spell everything out to me
now you dun have to think im out to test or spite you
now i just need to stop questioning you
coz u mistook my form of loving
i realised u really need to have your own life.
im too much.
i really needed someone there to be with me.
but i guess u misunderstood wad i want.
i wan to earn it back.
it will take days, even months.
but i will.
so pls.
let this word trust come between us again.
and let it stay for good.
becoz
i really love you
and i need you.
i let go of ur hand becoz i wanted you to know that im not over relying on you.
but it hurts me.
now everything seem in a state of contradictions.
but for all i know,
i still love you.
and i dun expect anything in return.
tt's my goal.
i hope tt's urs too.
if your kiss for me meant loving me
i would lay my own death upon it.
if your kiss meant tt you still love me
thank god.
i know im insecure. i know im emotional.
i know i need assurance.
but i can't have any now.
i need to learn.
and i need cure.
im sorry for all that in the past.
i really learnt it.
but i dun ask for ur forgiveness.
i know i deserve the penalty of losing your confidence in me.
i dun dare to hope. i dun wan ani expectations.
ur kiss was my assurance. if it meant love.
but right now,
i do not know.
we lack communication.
i wonder,
are we having different priorities on this r/s
but it would seem that i think too much
so i won't ask.
and im still confused anyhow.

Fugged up day

2005-06-26T12:43:00.000+08:00

lost hp. pre-exams stress. mensus.
TERRIBLE.
The person who took my hp and not return it deserves the penalty of DEATH.
Whoever you are, BAH.
PREPOSTEROUS.
My precious photos and msges and contacts and everything sweet.
BOO.

A.L.L.

2005-06-25T11:59:00.000+08:00

i knew A.L.L. is a must-watch. waited for months. when it finally got released, i couldn't watch. i waited for months. know the pain incurred.

panic button

2005-06-22T13:45:00.000+08:00

I'm panicking. finally. But this time, i took longer to feel the press the panic button. goodness gracious.

swensens

2005-06-21T05:56:00.000+08:00

I am going to puke. and burp. and do everything disgusting.
went for GP remedial. then after, SWENSENS.
ordered fish baked rice and deep fried mushrooms. really really good. But i must stress that the deep fried mushrooms is rather disappointing coz they were pretty puny. should go to bugis the next time round.
What made mi almost puke was GIANT EARTHQUAKE. 8 GIANT scoops of CHOCOLATEY ice-cream. normally, ppl either go with a mixture of fruits and choc. or fruits alone. but 6 of us ordered ALL chocolates. oh mann. different types of chocs. it was good and sticky and chewy and all. Then it was too much for me to handle. David made mi lost all appetite with him eating a big teaspoon of caramel at one go with his brown teeth. Got too full. had a little of cramps. mann. 6 of us ate 100+ bucks of food. no occasion. Just lunch. oh mannn...im not gonna eat choc ice-cream for a long long time.
What a feast.

miss you

2005-06-19T15:00:00.000+08:00

miss someone??
Message:
Have u ever missed someone and felt terrible because u think tat he/she doesn't miss u?
Missing someone is a terrible but at the same time, sweet feeling.
U will be sitting around wondering if u meant anything to him/her.
Thinking if he/she ever cares about u.
Rushing to the phone once it rings hoping that it's him/her.
Looking out of the window hoping that he/she will surprise u by appearing downstairs.
Sitting in front of the television but thinking of her missing the final episode of your favourite show.
Laying on your bed, thinking of the last time u wen out together.
Thinking of how nice it will be to sit under the stars again, talking about everything, your dreams, plans, future.
Logging on to the internet hoping to see him/her online.
When u realise that he/she isn't online and did not return your page, u will start worrying if he/she is okay.
Missing someone is a way of growing up i guess.
It exposes u to loneliness.
It teaches u how to cope with being lonely and let u know that there is actually a feeling known as emptiness.
Sometimes it feels good to miss someone.
U know that u really care and u indulge in the feeling of loving/caring for him/her.
But missing someone and not knowing if he/she is feeling the same is terrible.
U feel as if u are being left alone.
So if u miss someone, tell him/her and let them know.
At the same time, ask if they miss u.
Don't let the feeling of missing someone become jealousy or paranoid.
If u are the one being missed and u know it, let the other party know.
if u miss him/her too, tell them.
Don't let them wait.

-very nice extract though it may seem cliche. that's how i felt all along, but i dunno how to put it to words. just proves tt im not thinking too much, but im missing too much. sigh.-

no point

2005-06-18T17:07:00.000+08:00

It's no point keeping a blog that's meant for us. blog? failed. tagboard? i hope it works. but i think it's failing. no point...

i dun usually do this. but since im in depression mode, let mi paste this.

Only real men know how to treat the woman heloves. This is the sweetest thing in the world. Read, Learn, and Put into good use.
1. Tell her she is beautiful, not hot. [Yeah, it shows that you love her, not her body]
2 . Hold her hand at any moment even if it just for a second. [It shows how much you appreciate her presence]
3 . Kiss her on the forehead. [It's a loving gesture, helping her feel secure]
4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. [even SMS or missed-call will do... Nothing can beat waking up to the voice/message of your loved one]
5 . Always tell her how beautiful she is, no matter what she's wearing. [Again, it shows how much you treasure her]
6 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. [sigh... need I saymore?]
7 . Recognize the small things . . . THEY USUALLY MEAN THE MOST! [it's the tiny bits and pieces that count]
8 . Call her baby.
9 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is. [trust me, girls love it when guys sing to them]
10 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. [Yeah, and show her to them]
11 . Write her notes. [to make her feel that she's always on your mind]
12 . Introduce her to family and friends as your girlfriend. [it shows how much you want her to be a part of you]
13 . Play with her hair.
14 . Pick her up, tickle her and play-wrestle with her.
15 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. [you never know what will she say]
16 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes. [but make sure that it's the right time for jokes]
17 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because you missed her.
18 . Let her fall asleep in your arms.[sigh...heaven...]
19 . Carve your names into a tree. [for memory sake]
20 . If she's mad at you, apologize because SHE is always right.
21 . CUDDLE.
22 . Bring her flowers just because u love her. [although some girls will say that they hate flowers, but still, chances of them being touched is very, very high]
23 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when you're alone. [this means a LOT to her,and it shows a lot about you as well]
24 . Look her in the eyes and smile.[Believe me it works..it has its own magic]
25 . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants. [you trust her, don't you?]
26 . Slow dance with her, even if there isn't any music playing. [but don't step on her feet too often]
27 . Kiss her in the rain.

(P.S: the [...] wordings in the brackets are not done by me.)
i wanted to paste this in THAT blog. but i guess u won't read it. so i pasted in MY blog. I didn't mean to give up when i said it. I can't bear to. But you just didn't know. Girls just like to do foolish things.

so hurt

2005-06-18T16:07:00.000+08:00

Im so hurt. And no one's there. not even a shoulder. not even you. Im not crying as usual. Crying in my heart. it hurts alot. really. very much. rip my heart apart. you're not there. you're just not there. when i need you the most. you're not there. should i fight for it. or not. you won't understand. like how i dun understand you.

music for life

2005-06-16T04:27:00.000+08:00

2-3 yrs ago, my ambition was to become a piano teacher. Simple enuf? No. Until last yr, i found out that taking this 9-9 job can probably kill you. I haven't experience yet. After As? Definitely. I gonna find myself a studio and stick my ass on the piano's seat.

This yr, after stepping down, my ambition has not changed. I added more in fact. Clarinet. I had it planned. No clarinet for now. But if i had the capital, i'd afford one. But, i can't now. Piano as first priority. Finish my theory. After As go teach part time. At the same time, take my practical performing cert and then diploma. So the money by teaching part time would probably be invested in paying my fees for dip, and not all on shopping therapy. If by teaching part time too allows reserved money, i would really wish to buy a clarinet. AHH. my goal. so far yet so near. playing for an orchestra with such magical fingers if u have wad it takes...is simply majestic.

Hmm, dreaming makes dreams work? dunno...ughhh...suddenly wq zaps mi back to reality. "Next fri econs essay paper hor?" waaaaa...academic life...is...ugh. Sometimes i was thinking why didn't i take art. i mean 100% As & Bs in NY. It's a free takeaway. sigh. mayb i dunno the implications. but, look at econs. SIGH. all right...have fun studying peeps.

wish

2005-06-14T07:45:00.000+08:00

3 more months to this ladehh's birthday. Or, u can see it as 3 more months to prelims. ha. I prefer the more optimistic choice.

Aniwae, not here to brag bout my bdae. I suddenly have a new wish. I wan to have my frens back again. tt is more of grooving out, bumping ard, kicking each other's ass, jump, shit together. and cry together. maybe not again. but i at least wish to establish back again. And i can't blame these 2 yrs to pass like a bullet. And all tt i had in mind was keeping up with the norm. What caused me not to realise, is that unknowingly, i lost the fun that i once had with my pals. Whenever the bullet stops for a moment, i slack. slacking means rotting at home here. i refuse to establish stronger bonds.

tt's my wish after As. phew. haven't groove for a loooonggggg time. hope my butt's not stagnant and rusty. :)

listening to simple plan's 'perfect'- I'm sorry...I can't be...perrrfecttt...

it's not easy

2005-06-13T05:51:00.000+08:00

Obstacles are never easy.
saying the solutions are 1% of emotional turmoil.
practising it involves 100% of your emotions.
Sometimes, you don't have to search for answers.
You don't have to ask. To be happy, believe in yourself.
believe that you know the right answer without asking.
...

I dun wan to continue typing anymore. All these preachings are in my heart.
I really want to thank you.
As much as we all have flaws and i've seen through yours,
and u've seen mine,
under all these imperfection,
we see perfection.
I dun have to ask and torture ourselves anymore.
I just have to understand. and,
believe.
I dun have to ask.

sacrifice

2005-06-12T08:56:00.000+08:00

you gritted your teeth.
you held your breath.
you took my hand.
you suffered so much on your own.
but i, i was selfish.
i thought the world was all of my own.

you sacrificed.
you accepted my flaws.
you were lost.
you wanted me all along to be happy.
but i, i was happy.
until i know how much u painstakingly sacrificed.

all i did after was to cry.
all i did after was to blame thyself.
all i did, was for my own.
i thought loving was simple.
i thought loving was easy.
until, you let me see your problems.
and then i realised,
what a fool had i become,
to not be by your side all along,
but rather,
you were by my side quietly.
you didn't grumble.
you didn't had your joy.
you stood up for me.
above all,
you never give up.
all you did,
was for me.

if you speak of the word sacrifice,
why can't i.
i want to let you, not the world, know
that i can learn my mistakes.
i can accept your flaws.
i want to share.
i want to be understanding.

i want to deserve the title you granted me.
i want you to realise,
all you did,
and all i did,
were for us.

and all you do,
and all i do,
are for us.

waiting for tuition

2005-06-10T01:25:00.000+08:00

gonna attend my 1st ever econs tuition soon. waiting to go out...hmmm. wonder how it will b like...

Anw, i had a really good laugh at this site! check this out!
LORD OF THE RINGS
http://210.61.218.118/grm.cdn.hinet.net/xuite/73/55/11619706/blog_14587/dv/235667/235667.wmv

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!!! language was gross yet hilarious. oh mann...

to jlo, happy 18th bdaeeee!

males and females of the world unite

2005-06-09T03:21:00.000+08:00

"woo. she's so pretty."
"waaa...she's getting prettier and prettier each day..."
"i think she looks really photogenic!"
"hot...hot...she's damn hot..."
*no words came out from the mouth but eyes were staring at the long legs, esp if girls wore mini skirts*

Don't ever do this having ur gf by ur side. You often see mommies forgiving papas when papas shift and set their eyes on little mei meis. Often, mommies watch these pretty ladies with papas too. What if mamas set their eyes on hunks? What if your future wife 'gorges' herself with Men's Health and sth like 'Hunk search'? Why can guys so easily indulge in FHM, Maxim and who knows wad...tonnes of porn. bargh.

Find me a man or a male teen, not a boy, who doesn't indulge in such thoughts. not even once. I would be really really surprised. I have short legs. I have no good figure. And I am simply non-photogenic. BUT i'll never consider lengthening my legs and go for plastic surgery. You know how men's spouses always want to keep their men? through beauty and makeup and surgery and a whole lot of crap. wear the sexiest bikinis on earth. all becoz of men.

Now u know why there are replicates of females looking alike coz they rebonded their hair, eat slimming pills, get the same good figure, wear similar bikinis and ya da ya da. well, if ani female is fat, she's out. sad huh. Now wad bout the guys? hmmm. u see fat boys down the street and some becoz of their hyper-activeness, they're cute. uncles have biggg bellies and they're still loved by their wives.

I now see the rising trend of male teens keeping mistresses and vice versa for the female teens. at the age of 19? girls flirt. boys flirt. and it's sick.

or perhaps, is it time for me to adapt to the modern and liberated world?

cried

2005-05-29T15:04:00.000+08:00

I am physically drained even before camp. Feeling all tired and weary. I wanted to have a good night's sleep. But i chose not to. I cried.

Truth is...

2005-05-28T09:42:00.000+08:00

Before you ask about how truthful i am to you, how truthful are you to me?

Lives of people

2005-05-27T11:31:00.000+08:00

I guessed i was soooo bored that i could read up to 20 over blogs per day. Knowing people's lives didn't get me going. unless we're related. otherwise, i'm just looking at a stranger's blog. Whoever is she/he tt is witty, pretty, amiable ya da ya da...

But i guessed what got me thinking was their lives too. lol. How they got emotionally tensed up and all. Tried thinking solutions for them sometimes. But there's always times when you are stuck. Like you feel you're in the situation yourself but not being able to do anything to help solve it. Totally crappy. We create problems for ourselves. Tons of problems. Sad thing bout humans.

On a lighter note, I have been sleeping like a dead pig over these 2 days. and unfortunately, it only got me MORE tired. u know? EAT SLEEP SHIT EAT SLEEP SHIT. SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP. unfortunately again, one night it got me worrying to fall asleep becoz i had a nightmare earlier on during my afternoon nap. I think in my dreams. What say you? What a problematic person I am. Worry so much for waddd...only know how to kill myself.

Whoever lives with me suffers? hahaha. Judge for yourself. I'm a killer. Anw, dun mind if i sound weird. Symptoms of depression and going bonkers have been invading me. Needa get medication soon...YOWWWWS!

blogs

2005-05-26T07:30:00.000+08:00

BLOGS ARE SOMEWHAT CONTROLLED. SHHHHH.

fooooodddddd

2005-05-23T09:21:00.000+08:00

Given tt i ate 1 pineapple tart, 4 cheese biscuits, 3 10g of dark chocolates, curry maggi mee, my home-made (tadaaa!) banana split today, and it's now nearing evening...I AM HUNGRYYYY. whole family enjoying in m'sia, and they'll only be back at 9+pm.

SO, i was just wondering...the list of food that i want to eat right now...mmmmmm...:
1) Shiitake fried mushrooms
2) Baked fish rice with cheese
3) sharks finnnnn
4) grandma's soupppp
5) creamy clam chowder
6) salad prawns/ lobster with fruit salad
7) beef/seafood lasagne
8) calamari with tartar sauce and salsa cheese dip
9) bro's hamsters running in the cage-to be fried?
10) dad's angelfish in the tank-to be steamed?

holy cow...im just hungry. now, who says that to win a guy's heart, u have to present good food to him. nah, u can win mine too. bribing is included. :)

no princess

2005-05-21T07:23:00.000+08:00

Im out of my mind. I've seen millions of gals calling themselves PRINCESS. it's not that i'm against them. Im just thinking that the word 'Princess' gives mi the impression of being pampered, of being petite and gentle, of being glittery, pink and all sorts. which is tooooo girlish for me to handle.

I'd rather be a rag gal than a princess. I'd rather play soccer and run about than wear a crown on ur head 24/7. I'd rather defy rules and play like there's no tml rather than abide rules, and wear DRESSES. drats. seriously, ppl calling themselves princess is irking me. it's not their fault aniway if they wanna live a life of luxury and comfort like a princess. it's just tt.. perhaps i dun think like they do. btw, i am starting to link ppl who think tt they are princesses with ppl who likes to sa jiao and act cute. prove me wrong. I will slap myself if i act cute one day. Im out of my mind.

I AM NO PRINCESS.

heylo meylo

2005-05-21T04:08:00.000+08:00

i will be away for the whole of next wk. from 30th may to 5th june. which means i won't be blogging. and meeting my big piggy. and irritating u guys. lol. saw the new famine camp shirts. it's all right i guess. still prefer last yr's tees. and pre u seminar is causing me not to go for remedials. drats. tt means i probably will miss out quite a bit.

Anw, i slept for more than 12 hrs today. all right. my eyes are going to rot. 12+hrs. i think living is secretive. talking is secretive. everything we do we are always cautious of wad we are talking, speaking and not to forget, ur actions speak too. it's hard to be really yourself nowadays. u have to live and abide the rules of the world. u live for ppl. dun u? crap bout freedom.

hey, guys, u get irritated and sianzzz by gals coz they think bout all sorts of crap and get jealous easily? tsk tsk. poor things. so tough to compromise with them i guess. so much for love. love=torture? hai. best fren has currently landed in a pot of shit. bless tt he gets through it asap with the gal. love=hurt for me? yes for me in the past. hell lot no for me now. pweetie monkey.

Angels and Demons

2005-05-19T13:52:00.000+08:00

This xmas season's featuring 'The Chronicles of Narnia'!!! omg. bringing us back to live in the mythical era. ooommmg.

It's a real pity to say tt I do not hold enough cash. like the govt should really pump more HOT money into the economy so my mom will gimme more money to spend. Anw, 'Star Wars' definitely a movie i'll be catching. and um...like alot? haha. Watched episode 1 like ages ago. and can't remember episode 2. should do some catching up huh. gee. i need a story-teller. anione? :)

just wondering. Does gals really need funky bikinis to stay attractive? next. if u slp 12 hrs a day. will ur eyes rot? and next. can some firm come up with a plan tt hp can have unlimited smses? tt'll b way cool. hmmmmm...kinda questioning the unquestionable.

I want to steal my jc's clarinet hm. kindly allow me to do so. if there's ani violent behaviour subjected to fLy, you may be in great danger. so yea. just allow me to bring back hm. otherwise, i won't mind a new one for a gift! just know tt fLy belongs to the anti-yamaha clan. WAHAHA. dream on, fly. earn your own cash just in a few mths time. I just realised i can onli enjoy life when getting my 2nd pay coz i have to clear my 'debts'.

ok. im officially tired. and can collapse ani moment due to the 'sufficient' rest i had today when i slept at 1am. im awake for 17hrs alr. my life is to sleep. eyes rot. hell lot yea.

bargggghhh

2005-05-16T06:18:00.000+08:00

I detest big-mouths. Accusers dun deserve my respect. Assumers too. Those who make mi feel like crap don't deserve ani of my respect. It's not as if i splurge money like waterfall. Plus, tt's for school stuff. u get it? school stuff. u wan mi to name it? AND, wad more a movie ticket? can't i just enjoy the mere entertainment of 10 bucks? So u wanna 'control' my 'splurging of money'? perhaps ur assumption of the 2 bucks purse tt i bought for myself? Coz i dun earn money, tt doesn't mean i can't spend money on what i think is right for me. I will graduate soon and i'll earn enuf money to show u wad i've got.

And, bro saw ck. so i assumed he told dad. and perhaps the whole family. tt im going home late again. and wow. so perhaps they are in silent objection? tt perhaps u dun approve of it? or do u? and i know tt u wan mi to concentrate on my studies. I know. I dun wanna raise this issue coz i know u will get mi frustrated and annoyed. And irritated due to the constant nagging i get whenever i go out. Like knowing limits and all. Peeps, not tt i detest it, but hey, how mani times do you wan to repeat it? like a million times b4 i grow up? If ani of you would have cared to listen to me, i would just have talked to you guys bout this matter. But you dun. And u dun becoz i tried talking to dad and mom today bout why roy is against me. And u guys continue laughing and appreciate the ENTERTAINMENT you've got with the tv programme. how ironic. So u guys dun listen, assume, 'interrogate' me, 'spy' on me, gossip behind my back abt what i shouldn't do, give mi weird looks tt i think i dun deserve, and expect mi to talk to u guys? ha. a prisoner indeed. and perhaps, after all these, u guys will nag and say it's all gd for u? and tt i try to look pathetic. and tt i should really learn to grow up? I think we should look at ourselves. If more understanding and listening is there for me, would i have even wrote down the no. of 'perhaps'? note the assumptions i made becoz of the communication breakdown.

Perhaps WE should really look at the real definition of family. The brighter side of definition of family to me now is just a place for u to slp, to watch tv, to eat, to do hw, and have a com to blog and chat with. perhaps i should rent a hse and i get all these too? and mayb new frens to meet with? Ah huh. peeps, i think u taught mi the wrong definition. rewind pls. ur actions show what i deserve. and indirectly, wad u deserve.

whoa la

2005-05-13T10:50:00.000+08:00

im back. firstly to tell u i can oh-for-gdness-sake flunk my 9233 test. full of rubbish.

Anw, back to life again. the routine of complaining the one-stop humid weather and then the next-stop freaking freezing brrr weather.

I feel that SYF has been a really really worthy and enriching experience. It was the final lap, as i said. And S.C.H WAS OUR performing stage. wonderfully gd. Results were not up to our expectation but i guess the process means so much more than anithing else. How we bonded as one despite the gruelling practises and our blardee dreaded eye bags, I believe every NY band member found it really worth practising so hard. *Claps* Now, the experience and process means SOOO much more than words. I just can't describe it. I guess Band brought me to a higher level of maturity. I guess Band thought me how much undying passion music lovers have for music. It's really worth everything. It's not the SYF, it's not the competition. I guess u just have to feel it for urself. It's the 1st time when i thought that competition was nothing but a word. Values should be the process. I guess it's all bout feelings. U feel for people, and then u feel for music. Or vice versa. it's all the same. Band brought me to greater level of assurance tt i am just in love with the depth of music. Band has made mi gone so crazy tt i m thinking of SPLURGING money for wad else but CLARINET! maybe grades? and cello...but now, piano comes first. hmmm. the yearn to earn money drives fly. soon huh. fly's gonna earn gold bars real soon.

Ah HUH. yep. and i feel like going for plastic surgery now coz i think tt my face looks like crap. hmmmm. distorted. LOL. But, no matter what, even the ugliest person or the scum of the earth is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L. Dun u agree? We are ALL BEAUTIFUL in a way or another. Reminds mi of Christina Aguilera's MTV 'Beautiful'. makes sense.

All right. fLy gonna slack for the day. coz i find it ridiculous tt i spent time studying and wrote such crap on my paper. it's anti-school day. So much for the 'happiness' that after i screwed up my 9233, i got such a 'delighted' news that i'll be attending College Day, which falls on this Sat right after my pre-u seminar briefing at JJC, which means I have to go back to sch after settling my butt down at JJC where i could have gone shopping or head back hm to sleep after tt.
Reporting time: 7.15am at sch fountain. Head to JJC by chartered bus. Full uni.
Briefing ends at 12.30pm. then fly back to sch. have quick lunch.
Reporting time at NY: 2.45pm.
Falling out time (end of college day): 5+pm.
sigh. It looks worse than a working day.

Final destination

2005-05-03T11:16:00.000+08:00

Play our hearts out. Now we set the standard of ONE sound, we continue setting the standard of ONE phrasing, of ONE feeling. Final destination is reaching. Really soon. Shut your ears when you hear others play. WE are the ones who judge for our own playing. No shivers. The sudden rush of feelings, of tears, of hair standing up. NY Band will leave you astounded. NY Band will teach you how to FEEL. We will teach you what have become of us. You will hear of our journey. You will hear for yourself what we are made of. We will rise. Be prepared.

like u've never...

2005-05-02T04:05:00.000+08:00

Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like no one's watching.
Sing like no one's listening.
PERFORM like NO ONE'S WATCHING AND LISTENING.
Live like it's heaven on earth.

I'm a performer! You are too! ENJOY our performance! Looking forward to 5th may. we're gonna sting. BEWARE.

Good

2005-04-29T13:27:00.000+08:00

Things are going fine! powder paper saved my life. Phew. Minimise bunny teeth marks.

All the way! It is the numerous practices that we try to perfect our pieces. But on stage, it's only 15min requirement for you to focus and play out your best. Just 15min out of 10000000++ min of hard work that you've put in. We're putting our hearts into these pieces. God will hear our voices. He will listen to this ONE SOUND. For this 15min, may Lord bless NY Band.

SYF

2005-04-28T13:40:00.000+08:00

SYF 05-my first and last!

Feel kinda worried, anxious, yet excited! I've been continuously trying to focus my very best. It's just that some do not seem to care at all, coz they gonna quit after syf. And some spit disheartened words. I dunno what to comment bout this competition. I want to feel so full of vibrant, I want to know what's it like to enter SYF feeling grand, feeling confident. And leave the concert hall with satisfaction.

[It's just at this point in time that I feel weird. As if I have no one to share this feeling with. It's hard not being able to go through this hardship alone without anyone lending me his/her listening ear. So much as it seems we're shunning each other, why do we even shun each other in the first place? Is it becoz of the minor blaming entry? Or is it becoz you didn't know so you follow suit? I didn't feel really welcomed. I want to be in this SYF with you all together. Is it so hard being a newcomer? one without experience who has her first and last SYF? Is it becoz of my attitude? Or wad? Can we share? Can we honestly really share how we feel? Am i left out? Am i too late?]

I really really want/wish/desire/dream to get the standard where we lie. I want to know how honoured i am. I want to be part of the team. I sincerely wish for us all to carry one soul. ONE SOUND.

biting session

2005-04-25T14:33:00.000+08:00

Now, bite and stuff the gigantic lollipop into your mouth before you speak ill or hurt someone! SHHH. dun spout nonsense and count from 1-10. Now, ask yourself, do you love to be sadistic and hurt someone? No. Does it feel good when you hurt someone you love? Never. So, what good do you think it'll give you if you shout at someone you love? Nothing good.

fLy's undergoing multi-tasking processes. fLy balances family, her monkey, peers, cca and studies all at one go. Plus, she's in fLy's university undergoing a module of 'Learn how to control your temper.' Give it all, small fLy. Be a chilli padi.

Fetish

2005-04-23T09:11:00.000+08:00

sheesh. I am beginning to have a fetish for male tutors. Cute tutors. Ugly but adorable.
1) Desmond Ng- irritating but his actions perk me up
2) Mr Nandwani- all-time favourite Econs tutor!

Quote by Mr Nandwani-
"I have a dream. Now, let me share my dream with you guys...[carries innocent look on his face]. Since young, I dream of building up a hot air balloon in Singapore. Seriously, how much entertainment do we have? No theme parks...you go to Australia, and boast to your frens "wa, i've went to gold coast ar. so cool...", you go to Genting and praise how wonderful is their theme park. What does Singapore have? Nothing ar. [shakes his finger]."

"...I want to build a hot air balloon ar. goes up and come down $10 gone. [thinks: surely can earn profits!]..."

Little Nandinghood and his hot air BAlloon then goes on...bout education system system in s'pore.
"Let me tell you. Nowadays, only the graduates will have a stable job. The rest dun have. In the past, my tutor was an O level graduate teaching me O level subjects. ha. Now, you go for tuition, everyone's a graduate. but you ask, "eh, not holding a master ar?" Parents used to praise "WAAA...DIPLOMATIC HOLDERS!" Now, ppl ask, "Why? Cannot go to JC ar?" [laughs cheekily]"

Bout casino debate:
"Why on earth are ppl debating bout the casino even if it only holds 5% of the recreational area, like theme parks, hotels and all! 15 yrs ago, ppl argued like mad over building the MRT and how incovenient will tt be...scolded how foolish the government is. Now ar, if we look back, if there wasn't any MRT, ppl will die. We'll be like thailand with road congestion if there's no MRT now."

"I'm really looking forward to the casino. Not bout the gambling part coz im a small gambler, but about what the casino can bring to us. 15 yrs later, you'll see ppl saying how good the casino is. The next problem u'll see will be people not controlling their expenditure and use credit cards to loan money ar...wait for this to come...It will be a BIGGG problem..."

hee

2005-04-20T11:26:00.000+08:00

How do u feel if you at least think you're a fren of someone. and when tt person meets you and goes saying "eeee...", how do u feel? is that a greeting? or i have bits of food or correction fluid over my face? Thx huh. I feel damn hurt. Perhaps, im too sensitive. What's your problem.

Dun let this kind of teeny non-word ruin my day. Bring da hse down.
*fLy's working on something.* hee. It's a surprise!

Recovered

2005-04-18T09:57:00.000+08:00

sry bout the previous entry. i was..um. having depression. haha. comes anitime. can b really scary. so dun bother figuring out my behaviour. i can't even understand myself at times.

had a F.A.N.T.A.S.T.I.C. day today! HAPPY!! haha. i need to go get:
1) Nivea facial foam [Men]. otherwise, ani brand recommendations?
2) Moisturiser [Men]

*remind mi to put on lip gloss* haha. my lips are always cracking.
to lululululu: dun try to disallow me to buy those items. haha! love ya!

TRUST

2005-04-17T14:22:00.000+08:00

Can u tell me how much should i love someone?
Why have i gone numb?
Why do i care so much?
Why do i act like a depression kiddo?
Why?
Can u tell me how much should i love you?
Why do i own no voice?
Why am i willing to give in so much, and nv before?
Why am i so easily jealous?
Why?
Can u cure my behaviour?
Do you think i should not think tt much?
Do you think i should not love tt much?
Can u advise me and guide me through?
Why have i lost so much tears?
Why have i become less spontaneous?
Why do i love you so much? You know. But you can't help me. Can you?
Can you feel for me?
Can you?

wishlist

2005-04-16T08:24:00.000+08:00

here's my wishlist for NOW, NOW and NOW:
-wish ny band's morale to be high up.
-LISTEN to the Band and conductor! Put away ur scores! Look at the conducting!
-wish tt our INTONATION will work towards perfection.
-TUNING! minimise out-of-tune notes!
-One Band. One voice.

It's NOT impossible. love the music. love the piece. handle ur emotions well. Syf's not a game. Never a game.

Band

2005-04-12T13:59:00.000+08:00

Some ppl dun like our conductor. I didn't like him at first too. But when i see how much this very individual handles, it breaks my heart to see that we're just ignoring him.

When i got a 5 min break today from sectionals, i went to the loo. Passed realli many classrooms, saw every section inside each classroom as i walk down the corridor, with unfamiliar faces of the SSO tutors of all different 'shapes and sizes'. It kinda adds up to ard 6-10 tutors. I realise how much we need to pay for their tutoring, and it seems that we're taking syf as a game.

Imagine u have a tough job, have bands to teach, have bands to go for and practice, have a family to look after. Imagine u have to look after the nitty gritty details of who's attending band prac and not. and why. for some unimportant reason. He who treats band like a gold bar, and syf as a golden experience, how can he deserve this disrespect?

We all know that music revolves ard his life. and he told mi "he thinks he's turning crazy soon." he kinda 'reprimanded' me for the bad attendance. Can i force ppl to come for band prac? can we turn up for the love of music? can we set time to build a community? i cannot sneer at him. he's done so much as a conductor.

CONDUCTOR. will u like to be one? Rather, do u think u can handle this job well? do u know the responsibilities of a conductor? can u feel how hurt u are when u see ur own students ignoring & not listening to ur teachings? can u imagine how u feel if u see 40 students shining right in front of u? can u feel his pride? can u feel his happiness as he conducts us? THE CONDUCTOR with the mighty baton in his hand. No matter how weird a conductor acts, talks, lives, he certainly deserves my utmost respect. No matter how good or bad our syf results reflect us, it's not his fault. He has done much. U might not sense it, but i do. We determine, not u, not mine, but OUR result. He's our guiding light, our mentor. Or should i say, he's just a human being afterall.

Believe

2005-04-11T11:01:00.000+08:00

Love does wonders.
Love hurts.
Love is really oh-so silly.
Love is scary.
Love is splendid.
Love is magic.
Love is chemistry.
Love is to trust.
Love is to be faithful.
Love is to believe.
Love is to cry.
Love is to be joyous.
Love is the mother of all emotions.
Love is to sacrifice.
Love is to Love.

There is never ideal love.
Ideal love's just but a goal.
True love overcomes blardee obstacles.
I believe in true love.
seems like im living in utopia.
but priority's there. i can't change it.
and sorry to say, im not living in utopia.
i have those blardee obstacles to face.

"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love."---Mother Teresa

nothing

2005-04-07T13:32:00.000+08:00

as i was in the midst of reading blogs, it seems especially cliche for jc students to rant about life. in particular, studies. we got so blown off by studying tt we seem technically like robots.

as i chat with my terrified & 'numbified' jc frens, it seems that we all seem lost. and tired. exhausted. wanting for a long sleep. it is then when emotions start streaming in. it is this period where we expose our emotions. where we cry in the public. exposing our true, helpless self.

frens cry for help. u hear them screaming, not by voices, but screaming for help deep down inside their hearts. we need to live by words of encouragement, don't we? this world is never on ur own. we'll die if we're truly independent.

man complicate matters so much to handle indivually. tt we die crying for help. tt our eyes seem so dry, so lifeless. im really touched tt frens like anli and yeong chee care to listen to me, and actually try cheering mi up by sending mi websites to laugh at, songs to listen to, and phrases of meaning of life.

it seems that ppl naturally do not live for ppl who pulls a long face. frens would prefer their frens to smile and not sulk & find problems. so much as i try not to have pms, im trying to control. my mind is over-exploded. it's become so heavy tt i can't think. n my eyes having the same width as my eyebags.

THAT'S MY LIFE.

paradox of life

2005-04-04T02:06:00.000+08:00

i listen more, speak less, yet i'm a follower.
i listen less, speak more, yet but a yakky person who doesn't give a damn abt how ppl feel.

sometimes i wish things can be done in my way. they're but foolish dreams.
sometimes i let ppl do it their way. yet i ended up being hurt.

i think too much. wild thoughts start bothering me.
if i think too less, will i then just take it for granted?

wad's a sheltered home? T,L,C.
if loved ones care too much, do they resort to treat me like a prisoner undergoing interrogation?
yet if they care too less, i feel neglected & abandoned.

i know that some place me as one of their priorities in their life. and others dun bother.
why then should i stupidly allow the others to hurt my feelings?

sometimes we're at the crossroads, not knowing where to go.
we lost our directions. we need the ones who care bout us to encourage us, not interrogate us.
we need wings to direct us.

here am i pinning down my thoughts. peers will obviously think tt i think too much.
but, ask yourselves, aren't you one of them? don't u feel it this way when you're lost?
but then again, why should i care wad not to write and wad other ppl like to read in my blog?

so, write or not to write? sometimes when we're in the peak of lost emotions, we tend to be selfish, wanting to seek attention tt we need help. so am i. so indirectly, im saying i need help. i need wings.

doodle diddly doo

2005-04-02T14:42:00.000+08:00

is my face as round as tt gal over there?
<--------------- tt cheeky & chubby gal over there. but for teens, isn't tt fats?! haha. im conscious. have been hearing ppl say tt im phatttt...is this true. or mere joke. i seriously need to get some exercise done.

does it then urge mi to find a new blogskin. hmmm...i dunno. just saw one 'timeless beauty'. pretty woman with purity & confidence. white skin. anw, it's not one of my priorities. more of leisure & my search for entertainment.

i bought ONE ny pleated skirt...finally. might b a waste of money but who cares. ONE PLEATED SKIRT. god's sake. i had so much wanted it since last yr. ha. though the material's a bit off...ny's uniform material...uhhh...not so commendable. hee.

visiting a patient tml! weeeee...the pink monkey in action. bought the plush/cushion for my 'mom-in-law' to wish her well recovery. bought b.u.m's pink collar top too...nicey! i spend money like drinking water. it was a weekday when i went on a shopping spree. thurs to be exact. how can tt beeee...students should b studying on thursday! im steoreotyping anw.

got lotsa stuff to do over the weekend. the theory stuff. u know wad i mean. hw. research for pre u. band. uh. band's practical. haha. persuasion. i have to finish the book! have to...damn mrs teo, she's killing me with those volumes and chapters of persuasion. i'll still be watching movie over the weekend...i got lost in touch with movies for 2 wkssss...hahaha. but the price hike...ahhhh...haish. the govt must have their reasons for doing so.

doodleeeeeeee doodlyyyyyyyyy doo! all right. gtg slp. have been on a slping camp for the past 2 days due to aches from PE. piggish. tml's band day! & chionging out day! weeeeeee!!!! it's a saturdaeeeeee...!!! Happy April Fool's day btw. ha. this day does not realli have ani meaning to mi. haha. i dun mind anw...ciao!

hello

2005-03-30T15:59:00.000+08:00

hey pweeties. dun realli know wad to type. Time for words of affirmation to u guys...Love ya loads!!! all right. slp tight...sweet dreams in wonderland! have a really fresh morning the next day! lastly, enjoy! no matter wad u're doing!

boo

2005-03-26T05:08:00.000+08:00

I am utterly disappointed in certain homosapiens. It's not that they dun wan me ard, it's just that they didn't even bother to ask or tell me wad's happening. Signs of disrespect. No matter how 'clean' or 'innocent' you are. Just tell me that you dun like me straight in my face if that pleases you. Liars putting on a false facade.

Burden's over?

2005-03-25T11:04:00.000+08:00

My mental burden hasn't been leaving me. After hectic studying for block tests, which i think i'd flunk anw, my sickness awaits. grrr. feeling all giddy this morning. and i tot of not going to take lit exam. budden, it's the last day of block test anw. might as well go for it. finally, im over and done with it.

almost fainted in the morning. woke up and got all giddy. slammed into tables and chairs lying ard at hm. couldn't keep my vision clear. i was seeing sparks. my oh my. since coming to jc, i've been really weak huh. ha. firstly, my throat was so sore tt i couldn't even speak. now, there's this blurred vision. i even had to sit down at the dining table for ard 10 min to stabilise myself. isit becoz of the irregular meals or the non-nutritional aka junk fd tt i've been gorging?

anw, band's another hectic program in my to-do list. hadn't really been going to band lately. and i dunno if i can make it on sat due to my sore throat and dizziness. and the preparation for booth decor not being done. tess is so gonna kill me. i got a feeling tt chiang's gonna kill me too. btw, siying is in yj now. angeline called mi ytd to ask whether sy or jy is better. gee.

i wan to go out to play. block tests' over. gimme my life! i wan to be able to playyy! i dislike herbal teaaa! *going to the doc with mom. she's my protection armour, in case i faint. ciao.*

getting too literary?

2005-03-18T09:36:00.000+08:00

i have a problem. seem to be getting all literary. just finished Shakespeare's famous and one of the most mature plays, tragedy of love. 'Othello'.

can u believe Othello touched my heart. i am crazy. i almost cried when he speak'st of his truest emotions. [Oth stabs himself with guilt & sorrow as he realised tt he killed Desdemona, his wife, wrongly.]

[Before Oth dies:]
" Then must you speak
Of one that loved not wisely, but too well;
Of one not easily jealous but, being wrought,
Perplexed in the extreme; of one whose hand,
Like the base Indian, threw a pearl away
Richer than all his tribe; of one whose subdued eyes,
Albeit unused to the melting mood,
Drops tears as fast as the Arabian trees
Their medicinable gum. Set you down this;
And say besides that in Aleppo once
Where a malignant and a turbaned Turk
Beat a Venetian and traduced the state,
I took by th'throat the circumcised dog
And smote him thus."

*Sobs* I dun mind if Oth smothers mi, provided he must realise the truth tt im not a whore (Oth assumes Des to be a whore. Damn Iago!). oh yep. Oth must speak these words b4 he dies too. I told ya. I'M BEYOND CURE.

On Love...

2005-03-12T16:33:00.000+08:00

just had my theory exam. oh yea, forgot to ans yc's qns. got 84 for internal exam. but external...haha, just hope for the best. i coincidentally bumped into marie (ny band alumni) after the exam. we were in the rm for 3hrs, and i onli realised after sitting for the paper. ho. i love the song on yx's blog! anw, the enlightening quotes below is taken from my lit lecture (just an add. piece of paper but i found it to be realli gd). if it's too long, u can just close this window. haha. otherwise, feel free to share my interest! :)

"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."
Corinthians 13:4-8

"When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God." And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips."
Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

my my my

2005-02-27T11:38:00.000+08:00

can't believe i'm blogging. i actually find this a form of relaxation now.

ok. the block party downstairs is driving me nuts. wad's happening. i hear some familiar recorded band piece being played. and a woman is singing.

can i be a newscaster? haha. ok. i've gone out of my mind. know it'll be taxing. budden my frens say i should go try for it, since most of my classmates and tong thinks i can be a newscaster. through PW presentation. they said i dun get boring. ha. doesn't this mean i have to read loads of foreign policy stuff. doesn't this mean my gp have to be fantabulous. ok. my gp grades suck. i speak well, but tt doesn't mean i write well. gotta buck up. *pulls my socks* ha.

the music downstairs is driving mi crazy. thousands of music. i see notes flying in the air. mugging for piano theory internal exam held tml. tcher said it's gonna b tough lah. some she nv even teach. i'm going bonkers.

pre U sem ppl are scaring mi off. they seem as if they know everything bout the world. which i dun. makes mi feel so shallow. and slackey. like a donkey. crap. they've got big brains. ok. wow. i'm taking the back seat.

i gotta go check out more notes and chords and melody writing. and 'heaven' lots of orchestral periods & family. stay cool peeps.

suffocating. but i'm going on. fighting strong.

2005-02-22T19:50:00.000+08:00

sheesh. saw tt the As results releasing next wk. my chi...arghhh...my languages are always left hanging in the air. leave it into God's mighty hands. deary's results too.

uh huh. i failed gp essay by 1/2 mark. damn democracy. tong said it was too short and isn't my best essay. ha. true though...newae, i shouldn't be typing an entry now. i have 29 econs mcq and one essay layout to prepare for tml. revise my maths topic for the day. read persuasion. and by the time i got hm, i prepared for my slping session. these two days...dear mi. i tire out easily.

aish. life in j2? maybe we're pushing this blame onto the disastrous events happening in j2? ha. maybe.

and guess wad. i'm into obsession of deary again. woah lah. too bad dear. i can't stop myself.

can anione tell mi. is j2 the toughest stage in life, in terms of study aspect. if there's much worse out there (exclud my interests), pray god for miracles for fLy to fly.

focus fLy focus.

gotta mug. can't believe i have to be a mugger. sheesh.

'les choristes'

2005-02-20T07:31:00.000+08:00

'Les choristes'-The Choir Boys...i'd give it 4/5 stars. The singings. The emotions. The story. You guys have to watch it for yourselves. i've watched twice. i cried twice. french movie.

Getting really busy with work. having tests over these 2 wks. more tests coming up, including piano theory. i wan to go watch 'A very long engagement' in the theatres, but it's only for M18 and above. drats. gonna rent the vcd.

got into pre-u sem. most of my classmates got in. *praise*

skipped band prac today. feeling a lil unwell. plus i got an injured wound from lit class. the 1 metre glass frame fell on mi. the edge of the wooden frame hit mi. got a really bad bruise on my arm. thank god i didn't got any cut by the shattered glass. had nightmares last nite again. j1s bully mi and sth else. told my dad. he said i carry my responsibilities too harshly, resulting in my high stress lvl and these nightmares.

i did a miracle. i sent out 10 sms for this wk. know u dunno this but i'm waiting for ur sms everyday. missing u alot until i cried. be safe. i pray.

so much fun

2005-02-14T16:46:00.000+08:00

uh. hello peeps. haven't been blogging for decades. haha. it's like 0030 now. and at 630 i gotta wake up for a new wk for sch...haha.

the basic crux of my entry? i had so much fun spending my days with ma boi. and my dad found out bout the relationship. haha. he didn't mind. -smiles-

jun qi's my bestest fren [besides ric and mj. ha.]. u're my valentine every single day. miss u every single day. the day when i gave u the gift, i saw ur expression. it's hard to describe, though the expression was held onli for ard 2 secs. nope. i just can't describe it. haha. cherish u loads.

i remembered how briefly we met, or go past each other unnoticingly. i remembered when u were j2, and whenever i saw u walking past mi...into the canteen, i initiated the greeting signal. haha. i nv knew yq was such a jerk until u told mi bout the recent news.

20 yrs old next yr. muz plan for the future?! haha...u brighten up my day every single day. u're going to field camp this wk. u're gonna smell bad. but u're still my boi. for u're the one who can accept this silly & blur girl who wears the wrong pants, and wear ur thick black frames as if i could have dropped a pile of bks against the pillar.

i dunno why i'm still happy when i'm spending vday alone. haha. maybe all the days tt i spent with u are already valentine's dayS. i'm waiting for ur return. love ya...12 days...

Shout-out: HAPPY VDAY MY LOVERS! special dedication to akg, ric, mj, mama5, my family, grandparents, ms chew, ms tan m.y. and my deary...u guys were there for mi whenever i wanted to give up, since the past mid-yr. thank you all. i realli appreciate the listening ears. love you guys lots...

JUN QI

2005-02-02T15:35:00.000+08:00

I miss my boi.

Old Soul

2005-02-02T15:34:00.000+08:00

zzz. prob moral traditions would be a better word, and the last sentence does not apply to mi. Other than tt, the rest are pretty true...hahz. I'm OLD.

You Are an Old Soul

You are an experience soul who appreciates tradition.Mellow and wise, you like to be with others but also to be alone.Down to earth, you are sensible and impatient.A creature of habit, it takes you a while to warm up to new people.
You hate injustice, and you're very protective of family and friendsA bit demanding, you expect proper behavior from others.Extremely independent you don't mind living or being alone.But when you find love, you tend to want marriage right away.
Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

wad a day. frowns

2005-01-30T14:46:00.000+08:00

My mood's the same as tess. too mani teeny stuff going on in our personal lives i guess. had a really stupid wk. but i tot studying was the best for this wk. tt's weird. I'm getting engrossed in politics. gee...how boring can i get.

anw, band pracs has totally drained me. and the j1s, i hope we won't get those few after 1st 3mths. if they are appealing, i'd go for 'no-no'. an eye for an eye. attitude for attitude. not trying to be mean, but i can't stand it. i'm hot-tempered. easily.

friends? just seems that everyone's teasing me bout ck together with mi now. it may be of a pessimistic view, but tt's the fact. i hate it. can u guys ask mi other stuff than teasing. u call that friends? u call that conversation. crap.

family. the stupid shopping. guys did the shopping. gals did the waiting. wad has the world become. waited for 2 blardee hrs. when i'm supposed to have my dinner. and due to tt rush, i got into a mess with ck. and shithead, i almost cried.

EVERY single night since a wk ago, there is at least 5 smses from band members. my bill is obviously exploding. and only god knows that this is the reason behind all. i seriously need to take a huge break. why on earth are there night band pracs when the CAs are here.

can everyone just let mi live peacefully for a day. no sms from band. no naggings. NOTHING. just shut up and let mi live the way i want. only for a day. can you help me.

The BEDROOM and The BED-Part ll

2005-01-22T03:45:00.000+08:00

hmmmz...haha! U guys tot i'm crazy to blog bout this beddy thingy rite...

Actually, the reason why i blog bout this coz this saying was actually written in a part of a novel by Margaret Atwod, enticing readers how wonderful the bedroom can do mani things for us...she's just trying to provoke readers to allow them to reflect the plot, the settings of where they lie upon their most emotional self.

And I, the piggiest person u may have ever meet...coz i love to slp on my bed alot...was astounded by the fact of what our own BEDROOM and our BED can do for us...if u reflect back on the saying, dun u think it's true...and it applies to every single person out there?

This was what i was taught in literature tutorial ytd...fun har? ms kwok was teaching us OTHELLO...the moor of venice (a black) and his love, Desdemona (a white). The play ends tragically, where Oth reveals his true, cruel self by suffocating Des, his most beloved, where they had gone thru ups and downs together, with a pillow in the BEDROOM. The significance of how one's true self is shown in this text...and just by misunderstandings that led to Oth killing Des without any hesitant...

Basically, tt's bout the grasp of the ending of the play. If i talk bout OTHELLO in depth, think we will all faint...and slp halfway...hahaha! kaish...gtg liao! SELAMAT HARI RAYA HAJI!

-The BEDROOM & the BED-

2005-01-21T13:09:00.000+08:00

-The BEDROOM & the BED-

The BED is where your mother gave birth to you.
The BEDROOM is where you seek comfort.
The BEDROOM is where you are at your most humane self.
The BEDROOM is where you let your emotions flow.
The BEDROOM is where your privacy, your inner-self lies.
The BEDROOM is where you cry.
The BED is where you make love, be it the person you love or not.
The BED is where you share with your most beloved one, caressing him/her when you wake up.
The BED is where we sleep and rest.
The BEDROOM is where you eat chips and slack.
The BEDROOM is where you listen to the music you love.
The BEDROOM is where you gossip with your friends.
The BEDROOM is where you whisper mushy conversation to your partner.
The BEDROOM is where you disallow your family members to invade your privacy.
The BEDROOM is where you hang up motivating posters.
The BEDROOM is where you scold vulgarities if you do not want anyone to listen.
The BEDROOM is your shelter.
The BED is the one you spend most of the days with.
The BEDROOM is where you dream, and where you have nightmares.
The BEDROOM is what you love.
The BEDROOM is your personal, private home.
The BEDROOM supports your emotional behaviour.
The BED supports your physical behaviour.
The BED is what you rely on.
The BED is where you eventually rest peacefully and leave the world.
The BED and the BEDROOM are the different physical choices that you choose that will never leave you.
The BED and the BEDROOM follows you and stays obedient till death do you apart.

Now realising that the BED and the BEDROOM have endless benefits,
Did you ever take it for granted?

Sigh

2005-01-20T13:14:00.000+08:00

I come back feeling realli tired. All i want is rest, love from everyone, home and no nothing that makes mi feel depressed.

It's not that i dun wan to do my hw. It's just tt i'm tired to do it. I'm just a slacker. Wad can i do. So flooded with hw, band pracs and esp 'high blood pressure'. Flunk my test. Fell alseep during lecture.

Wad a bad day...starting from last nite actually when i got realli pissed off from all the late night calls that i have to do so much more at such a late night. calling 20ppl. and photocopying ALL their scores...when ani clarinetists just easily told mi 'SL, i lost this piece'...'SL, I dun have this piece'... As if i have unlimited access to my photocopying card. HELLO! I'm saving up money for gdness sake...! and u think i'm a superwoman?! 20 ppl. by just telling jok kuan to set up my instrument is such a chore for her...or by asking ppl to help mi photocopy a few scores is not their job, and it's my job...RIGHT.

It's my job afterall. aniwae, who's as dumb as mi to waste 25 sheets of paper at a go...got ordered by j1s. whined by j1s. scores not enuf. got crap recently from mrs tan bout the backdrop. Someone with 'high blood pressure' indeed. I seem to kick up a fuss. but be in my shoes. get ordered. see wad u deserve.

I feel like an idiot. And i come hm with more things to worry. Such a pathetic & idiot gal am i. So idiotic tt i even have to plead jc, tess and dave to help mi call their particular section mates and get yx to help mi msg a few of my members. Putting on a facade at times. How wise can i be...

waiting...

2005-01-17T06:49:00.000+08:00

Waiting for 3.30pm to arrive...to go for piano theory lesson...eh, i haven't done my weekend hw yet...hahaha...

I was reading my recent past entries...Jan 07, read and i almost cry...well, tears didn't fall, but it was inside my eyes...haha...i dunno how to describe wad i'm thinking either...just waiting...

hmph. dunno wad to blog liao...i feel foolish at times...haha. Think of him when i wake up, when i go to sch, when it's during lessons, when it's band prac, when i'm stoning, when i'm chatting on msn, when i check his mails, when i need to go to my piano lessons alone...i miss him. dun even know whether i dream bout him or not...maybe i didn't, but the funny thing is when i wake up it just tends to create an image of him in my mind...

gosh. i can't continue. if not my tears will fall. haha! bye peeps...

Another day

2005-01-15T10:09:00.000+08:00

I think I wanna change into another blogskin again...this blog looks too cute for mi. brrr...haha! The music's too loud and ya la...bla bla bla...

I'm into 2 songs lately. Polar Express's 'When Christmas comes to town' and Andrea Bolleci's+Sarah Brightman's 'Con te Partiro'-Time to say goodbye. Dun mind the lyrics la...I'm in love with the melody, the background music...and the tone quality...superb.

Ytd was quite...i dunno...erm...i can't find the word...ok. erm. just weird. Usually, boi will call mi daily...then i got so tired as i was reading Cleo till i feel asleep on my bro's bed as there were strangers painting in my hse. I woke up at 10+pm, which was the usual time tt boi will call mi. I somehow had the feeling tt he won't call tt night, and bingo! I'm so right. haha...think he's working well with his 'wife', and all those runnings...tire him out easily. poor boi...

I got aches too from all those running...and incline...and jumps...shoots. it's screen test next wk...but there's hw! tons of them for this weekend...and i still feel like lazing ard. haha! my weekend's gonna be taken away from band prac, gp project, piano and hw! weee! Have to call 'thousands' of clarinetists now...

boi: come back quickly...i miss u...clear ur own mails next time. i dun wan to 'see' michelle...haha...see for it urself...every sec passing by, 7 more days. I'm waiting...

crying...

2005-01-12T12:38:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to touch my hw at 630. and it's 8.28pm now. and i'm still stoning. after a huge yet minor fright. Oxymoron huh.

How can things be so complicated and paradoxical? I found out sth which i'm not supposed to know. izzit not? Tried to control but i still cried, not much though. but my heart's aching, really really painfully. For some stupid god-knows no big deal reason.

I'm not crying already. But it seems like it will happen again, anytime. Totally shocked. Disappointed. Maybe misunderstood. But my imagination and thoughts go further as time passes.

I sincerely pray i can find the answer to my poignant emotion.

pray

2005-01-10T16:05:00.000+08:00

It's only 2 days. haha. Trying to keep myself occupied. Guess wad. I was late thrice in the 1st wk...gosh...one was due to a minor car accident...pls pray for mi to be able to wake up earli alright? starting from this wk...pls make mi throw myself out of bed...

Anw, back to the topic...tired...sheesh. It's near 12am and I'm still blogging. 4 more min to the new wk. haha...or actually, sunday is already counted the new wk. I miss my boi. so much. quarrelled with dad over some matters today...and i cried. i'm ok now. just some normal stuff.

I dreamt bout having econs test...wad a nitemare...and i woke up in cold sweat...reminding myself wadeva hw i have...was trying to complete my piano theory hw in 1 and a half hrs time...when the normal timing for a paper's 3hrs. haha...left one qns...and did right in the studio at the spot...

2 days. hah. 11 more days to go. though he still msges mi these 2 days. awhile. and he may not be able to for the next few days. every sec i'm thinking...can u imagine...*faints*...getting the sickness...booooooo...nooooooooo...

haha. gtg slp...it's 12.05! morning peeps...happy schooling!

the boi

2005-01-07T17:12:00.000+08:00

Exactly 2 wks more, and he will be back. I shall endure...going in on the 1st day, wonder wad he'll encounter...and his bald head...my gosh...hope i dun scream when i see him...hahaha!

I can't remember the days tt we got so pai seh to be seen together, till now...well, takes time to adapt larh...just met his 'mum' today...wad a funky 'mum' he's got...haha! I can't remember how he has flooded mi with smses. I can't remember how mani times we went to Jurong & Marina. I can't remember the times he sent me hm...it's uncountable...I can't remember how mani million times i ask him whether i can pop a strepsil into my mouth...I can't remember how mani times i was sleeping, and lying on his shoulder. But i can vividly remember his smile, his laughter, his sorrow, his emotions...and somehow or another, it's a weird feeling la. It's kinda like a deadly virus...passed onto mi. When i see him depressed...I fall down. When i see him smile, I try to act blur and still, but I'm actually glad and joyful...Magical creation, dun u think so? I nv encounter such magical moments...

And it's simply weird. Coz both are ordinary beings. One looks like a drug addict...and the other looks like a b****, having black nail polish...and 'funnily', we created this 'marriage', this bond. He's not like any other guy who share 'romantic stuff' with mi like the jerk who pointed stars to mi...He just makes mi feel comfortable, at hm and be myself.

2 wks. 14 days. I promise not to cry...will not! I'm strong...i'll endure...I'll enjoy my life! I'll set my 3rd alarm clock, I'll promise to eat my medicine regularly...promise to tk ca of myself, wad else? oh ya, no overdose of strepsils. The nightmares are gone. And the trust is within our hands...I pray for your safety...till i meet you. I love you.

sheesh

2005-01-06T14:46:00.000+08:00

Sch starts. and i'm in bad bad bad health. coughing as if i'm dying. at least tt's wad yx says. heard ppl giving mi advice to drink lotsa water and all...and giving comments like my cough is pretty bad. haish. I wish i could stop the cough.

What's more? the food in the canteen kills mi. esp the wanton mee. totally pathetic. and i spotted lotsa curry...but i can't eat tt...killing me. band practices. ahhh. i'm tired. i feel like the other 2 3rd clars are going towards the flat side. i'm not sure. but i want to change the sound. the amplified sound. PE's disaster. sick yet i ran. tml there's PE again.

oh rite. i get pissed off esp when buddies such as dave and jlo starts to irritate me with all the misunderstandings, or during their 'bitching time'. got so heated up tt i gave dave attitude prob today. think he knows his limits. i've gotten so used to it till i can't be bothered with it. and yes, the guy who wears the 'moses' shirt and plays trombone is not gd-looking...

Gimme 1 or 2 days to stay at hm to recover. i need the weekend. headaches and cough's here. friday. so longing for friday. 1240...quickly! i wanna go out with the boi!

phlegm-my fLy

thinking

2005-01-02T17:31:00.000+08:00

daddy bought mi ancient earrings today...so happi...but i was the one grumbling him to buy...haha...it was a gd buy, esp on the new year!

thinking thinking thinking...my mind going bonkers...i hate the feeling...very sensitive, ain't i? haish.

gotta slp now. gotta wake up at god-knows-wad hour. haish. nite peeps.

NEW YEAR?

2005-01-02T07:51:00.000+08:00

I'm numbed. I hesitantly received the arrival of the new year. Numbed by a freaky nightmare...still numbed now...dreamt tt i was abandoned, and i cried non-stop...my frens saw how much i cried...

then i dreamt bout leonard tan rehearsing some piece...and i was playing the piano in the piece...with another gal...duo pianos...

'Numbified'. haish. things running thru my mind again...sheesh...

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2005!

2005-01-01T18:13:00.000+08:00

weeeeee!!! it's 2005! it's 01/01/2005, saturday!!! it's the new year!!! sha la la la la...

*grumbles upon looking at my tummy* Lululululu...hahaha...my new phrase...too bad the boi's out working...should i wait till 5am? hehe...lemmi see...see whether i'm a pig...think i'll slp...but i'll try not to...Lululululu...

*grumbles upon looking at the hw piled up on my desk* sighz. think i'll have to do a little hw and my piano theory hw when i wake up tml...gee.

*grins* the painter is coming 5 days later...to repaint the walls of my house...yippee...i chose light purple for my room...oooo la la...it's yellowish beige now, and the living rm's pinkish beige...need to have a change of colour! and dads likes my decision! yay!!! 5 days to clear up my rm though...messy rm...oh gosh...

NEW YEAR NEW YEAR NEW YEAR'S here...Lululululu!!!

as simple as that

2004-12-31T06:03:00.000+08:00

My relationship with yq ended ytd. To think i dun even know how to suggest this break up to him. To think he doesn't even bother with it. is it not? or he has his reasons? He didn't even bother to ask why. nvm. at least i think it's right to put this relationship off, a relationship tt doesn't even counts.

I got my retribution maybe from me scolding him. I got terribly sick. Cough, sore throat ( i can't even say hello), fever...headaches...tell mi, how to do hw liddat! wish someone can help mi buy food. coz i can't even step out of the house. no decent food at hm.

I feel tt my forehead's burning. my head's in a whirl. and my throat...is terribly hoarse...no sound...no voice...very painful...i need to eat strepsils. At least we got the banner done b4 my sickness arrive. sth to be proud of...hahaha...

but my sickness is nothing compared to the tsunamis strike. tt's horrible...haish...and my hw, i dunno how i'm going to finish it...sigh...plus i'm sick...how can i concentrate...sigh...

i need ur shoulders. coz i'm strong no more.

pray

2004-12-29T07:43:00.000+08:00

Tsunamis, shoo! God, bring peace and calm waters to the people. such a dangerous yr. pray for 2005 to be a yr of prosperity. Economic boom...baby boom...grades boom...everything boom...pray for man-made disasters to be lessen down...

seriously, i dunno why i'm blogging. sigh...think i'll stop here. have fun peeps!

oooooooooo

2004-12-28T11:49:00.000+08:00

went to toa payoh and bugis to shop for cloth for banner...went shopping with yx, sm and jj. twinzee shop for clothes like nv shop...end up go and see sth else...i was obsessed with earrings...so wherever i go...i'll look for tt...hohoho...

tessa nv come. i wanted her so much to come...haish...mayb she too tired or got other plans...nvm...someday...i'll meet her...haha...oh yea, wassup with 5 ticks with yx, sm and jj! wassup!!! tell mi...so mean of u guys...hahaha...and dun bother to guess my english's name...1st time i see sm so curious...hahahaha! aniwae, no trading. keep the 5 ticks to urself...if u guys wan..hahaha...

waiting for maple story to be downloaded again...sheesh...so long...

i was daydreaming...these past few days...till now...how how how...aish. why muz i say out...aish. ~to be continued~ (gotta close the windows...it's raining...sha la la la! coldie nite! enjoy!)

Emotions...arghhh...

2004-12-26T17:37:00.000+08:00

I'm starting to feel bad. guilty. weird. I haven't said out. And i lied. I couldn't help it. No choice. I'm afraid I will hurt myself. and ya da. and ya da.

I wan to say out. I feel suffocated not saying out. But i just can't. I can't do it. too mani implications. too complicated. i need fresh air. No one knows bout this. I will not say it out. Until i explode.

I'm giving myself headaches. why muz i do this. will there be a gd solution? or will my hope be destroyed? I'm frowning...my eyebrows...

I can't do tt. I'm not suppose to do tt. I'm doing wad is wrong. but i can't stop it, can i? It's uncontrollable. someone, take mi out of this mess tt i've made.

MERRY XMAS!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-12-25T17:56:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMASSIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Another yr of xmas!!! I love xmas. oh yes. I lurvveeeeeyyyy xmas. tt's the only way to chomp tons of chocolates and candies without ppl saying tt i'm a glutton...hehe...

Had a pretty nice xmas eve today...with my dear mei...hahahahaha...ended up being deeply injured...bruises on my hips and stomach...so mean...can't even badmouth u animore...have to watch my words u ass...hahaha...

Know wad?! Shopped ard...and catch a few music places...saw teeny figurines...or rather displays of flute, oboe, TROMBONE (haha), french horn, cor anglais and tuba...in gold...except oboe larh...and no CLARINET. how mean of them...or maybe it was sold out? hohoho...trying to console myself...
Watched Phantom today. It was ok larh. review: 2 and 1/2 out of 5? well...some parts were boring...but some ppl said it's a gd show...depends on ur own opinions i guess...watched until a few parts i fell asleep...onli for about 10 secs? hahaha...

Oh yarh, wad a farni dream i had last nite...5 babies tt i gave birth to...had sex with cuzzin...wth...but of coz the sex part was not in my dream...i got married to him...wth...and gave birth to 5 eggs. LOL! wad a scary dream too...then another was a treasure hunt with my close fren getting drenched...tt was a tiring dream...running ard...weird dream overall...very weird indeed...

Oh yeah, saw a conductor's figurine...maybe can get tt for chiang...on when? before syf...to boost his morale and have confidence in us...hohoho...maybe it'll get sold out...but i'm broke now...will need to start saving money...haha...

I love xmas. I love XMAS. I LOVE XMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Xmas Wish

2004-12-24T05:00:00.000+08:00

I have a wish for christmas.
Santa, can u grant mi the wish?
I want you.
I mean, not you, Santa.
I want You.

LoL...deck the halls with boughs of holly...fa la la la la...la la la la...

Bash me

2004-12-22T13:32:00.000+08:00

I should not be thinking of this thing. I should appreciate wad i have. But, how come i can't turn back? I can't seem to appreciate. Guilty's here. Appreciation's gone. Somebody, bash me. I need to wake up. I need to love what I have and what I'm given with. Can I?

What am i doing. What on earth am i doing. I dun wan to be to blacklisted by Santa. I wan to be good.

lalala

2004-12-21T05:28:00.000+08:00

I just woke up. anw, I'm tired. sheesh. waiting for 5pm so tt i can get my butt moving out of the house. watching phil winds performing, by TIM REYNISH. gosh. i miss tt bumpy old man. and yes, i can laugh at chiang if i heard ani mistake in his section...hohoho...kidding larh. i doubt i will have the chance to do tt.

Fiddling ard. doing noth. training my fingers to be more flexible...by typing. hehe. know wad? i used to think tt i will either venture into the career of art or music. It seems like when i go into jc, if i dun tk anything tt requires sth to do with drawing, and i dun have time to even draw...my art career is going on the downslide. I used to have teachers in sec sch to ask mi to venture into art career, my dad too.

He used to be an interior designer. He passed down the genes to me and my elder bro. well, he got his genes from my grandpa. My dad previously said having an art career doesn't have gd money, but at least u love wad u r doing. So my choice of going into sch of design in tp has been slashed. And i'm on my way to the path of music career now. gd money, cool job...love wad i'm doing...tick! on the right track huh? but i still have alot to learn...it's a long way...

know sth? i have an english name. hoho. but onli a few friends know tt. my family and relatives call mi by my english name. too bad tt i dun wan to say out. it sounds like a boy's name. but my mom said she picked it out from australia and tt used to be a girl's name. Whatsoever. I love my name still. haha...but i won't say it out.

I still miss tessa. alot. and i dun miss david ng. hahaha... tessa oh tessa, come back quickly...

Back to my life

2004-12-18T07:47:00.000+08:00

Spotted a few nice blogskins. One with lollipops. One with nice music-simple plan's 'welcome to my life'. The other in a trumpeter's design. Think i gonna change...the previous blog has been used for months...and, is there 100% pure love? doubt so...maybe i'll change my attitude towards tt...if i meet my prince charming...hohoho...

Been super depressed these few days...found it uncontrollable too...imagined i scolded f*** off to my elder bro in front of my dad twice, and scolded over the phone to mei. phew. wad a fiery attitude. gotta keep control of myself...aniwae, i'm cooling down. great thing huh. way to go, cy!

Oh yea, I found it quite awkward ytd, after concert. or was it before? nvm. aniwae, jlo was talking to jun rong bout a gal from other jc i think. then he accidentally talked to mi. said 'oops'. so i was like 'ar?'. then he just asked mi sth or in other way, i was saying 'huh' to ask him to continue wad he wanna say. then he said a few sentences then he went to talk to jun rong. awkward. very awkward. wasn't fairly gd afterall. he may be reading my blog. who knows?

Performance was ok larh. I gonna miss Tim Reynish. I wasn't expecting such a crowd. lotsa ppl but no one shouting encore. performance was bad. mei said someone kept his/her stand, maybe larh, tt's the reason. After concert, was rather lonely. dunno why. one of my worse performances with no pictures taken, no chit-chatting, no nothing. acherlie...a few pictures larh. slight chattings. but i wasn't high.

did i fell asleep on bus 13? can't remember. felt super tired. was pulling my pants up all the way to my house. and who was the great one to mimick mi? haha...made mi so embarrassed. my pants was dropping...wad can i do other than to pull it up?! felt guilty to have mei to send mi back hm. look at his eyebags...hohoho...spotted him at the bus stop. spied on him. haha...just a glance onli la. make sure he doesn't fall asleep or get molested. I like the pink tie! hehe!

Haven't seen tess for half a day after performance. I'm missing her already. She's in the plane now, i guess. playing games or looking at clouds, or having served by air-stewardess. miss her soooo much. she better try bing tang strawberry. hoho. it's super delicious. I miss tt gal!!! tk gd care of yourself sis. I'll pray for your safety. have lotsa fun there! and be back real soon!!!

I dunno how I'm gonna finish my hw but I'm still slacking. nag at mi pluh-lis. make my com hang. make spoil the hp and my house's phone. crash the tv set. ruin my bed. gimme a nice big table, all my piled-up hw, my stationary and of coz, a nice comfortable chair. but u know wad? maybe I'll fall asleep.

Gotta perform 'Song of lir' tml at sch for Mr John Lim's memorial. Think there's gonna be very little players. Seriously, I grief for him and his wife as an outsider. coz he's not really close to mi as he doesn't teach mi or affect my life in nyjc. But overall, a yr passed. And i view him as a fantabulous, caring, friendly, sporty and patient teacher, mentor, peer, colleague or even as a counsellor. His departure made mi realise life is considered too tiny, compared to the destructiveness a simple disaster nature can make. I wonder, do most well-behaved humans passed away earlier than others? I wonder, if man is under controlled by man-made objects, nature and god. I think so. Man prays in search of hopes and miracles. Man can only pray to be better themselves when they are desperate. It's just a matter of time when we die, what we die of, how we depart earth, and how we are remembered by. It's always the happy little things we do in life to make us feel satisfied and leave this world without regrets. It's always the tiniest bits of memories we share with tt very person that make us realise how precious he/she is.

Mr John Lim serves as a reminder to do meaningful things in life, always, constantly, and not waste our own time, accomplishing nothing. He gives me the reflection to 'open up my heart', to accept the way each of us are, to give in, and to forgive one another. He has set a good example for me. The way i see how his soccer team cried for him, the online sch's memoriam, makes mi realise tt most man doesn't encourage each other to go on to different phases of their lives. Only when one departs, do we regret, then reflect upon ourselves. Man needs praises, compliments to carry on. Man's feelings are sensitive. I deeply feel anguished. I feel sorry for his sudden departure. And I sincerely pray for him and his wife to arrive in heaven safely, with blessings and cranes we made for him along the way to guide him through this new path. May he and his wife rest safely in peace.

flowy emotions

2004-12-12T12:48:00.000+08:00

I had a mixture of all emotions these 2 days. I almost cried ytd. Felt crap. You know, sometimes you just have a super duper negative impression of boys. Ytd, i was totally disappointed with boys. Today? a little.

My bros quarrelled today and ytd. I can't stand tt. I hate it when boys got their higher authority to shout out loud and tremble the house's floor. Talked to yq bout our problems ytd. at least he's frank. managed to solve it...and told how we felt bout each other and stuff...he said he was a fool not taking initiative. At least I felt much better after talking bout this problem. He may be calling me tonight. I dunno. He said he will call mi from the island. It's his first day. Even if he forgets, i dun think I'll be pissed off.

The way how i see twinzee treats sm and vice versa can make ppl jealous. haha. Sorta an ideal couple. I dunno how to phrase it...it's like...ahhh...forget it...i can't seem to elaborate on it...it's a feel...i guess. ytd i was hurt, also by another bro. nvm. it's over. Time for me to heal...

Sometimes I wonder, whether i have any clashes with boys. Some say i got attitude problem. really? Maybe i'm just pissed off with them. And the way boys see us getting pissed off, the more they sarcast gals. is it fun to have unlimited sarcasm lying ard? Well, jlo said he LOVES sarcasm. let mi tell u, you jackass. I HATE IT. so fuck off if you wan to talk bout sarcasm. And, since you're with vincent and david now, kindly allow mi to remind you tt one of them is from MSHS, so if there's any clashes among you guys later on, dun find mi for help or even tell them tt i hate MSHS boys coz i am neutral now. So stop spreading your bullshit. Keep the fucking comments to yourself, fucker.

Right. I just need to vent my frustrations. I seldom get so pissed off. Aniwae, i love tt old man. Maestro Tim Reynish. He stripped. Can you believe it? Cool huh. And he's a witty and humorous old man. Not like some immature jackass. I'm in love with pieces like tails and song of lir. Changed a clarinet and the case. Nice case.

Wanna say sorry to tess for making her feel lousy bout all the maple comments. I was like you at first. I guess I have to be more aware of my comments next time. Just tt I can't tolerate anymore this week so things just blabbered out of my mouth.

Maybe i'm naive and childish to get pissed off over such stuff. But i can't do anything to help it. I'm just emotional. Maybe? And maybe boys are naturally stronger and controllable in their emotions. Maybe I'm right in saying tt I'm sensitive. tt's me. i guess. So for this moment, do tolerate with my complains. And tt fucker, kindly get out of my sight.

SARCASM

2004-12-09T06:29:00.000+08:00

I HATE SARCASM. light & non-frequent sarcasm is okay. SO JUST STOP IT AND QUIT SAYING 'YOUR DARLING' COZ HE AIN'T MINE! YOU KNOW WAD YOU GUYS WENT THRU BEFORE SO STOP SHIFTING THIS IDIOTIC SARCASM TO MI! F OFF! Please kindly reflect upon yourself, and although YOU LOVEEEE sarcasm, it doesn't mean EVERYONEEEE LOVESSSSS it. SO SHUT YOUR MOUTH & STOP YOUR HELL-OFF RUBBISH. ALSO, PLUH-LIS keep your negative comments to yourself simply coz NOBODY wans to listen to your grumbles. THANK YOU.

Sha la la la~

2004-12-03T13:16:00.000+08:00

Been stoning at hm today. Wanted to go swimming but argh...too lazie...I woke up too late today...at 3! miracle isn't it...wad a fly and a pig...

Been recently down coz of everything? Esp with the disappointed look on Mr Chiang's face...Tml is Tuning In. I'm having a slight sore throat today. And gosh, bless mi tt i better be well by tonight. Have to indulge myself in registration of the sec 4s and be a 'tour guide' tml. How wonderful. Everything with 'customers' relations'. Better bless my throat...Interesting huh. A tour guide without ani certificate in hospitality management. Tt was one of the mani choices i wanted to choose if I take the route to go to Poly.

Were basically idling with the com on. Went to blogskin...almost finished uploading a new one...then i suddenly think it doesn't look excellent to me...so i dumped it...Twinzee's stressed bout Tuning In and Orientation...tk it easy bro...Just try ur best and give it out all when the dates are here...

Wanted to do hw today too. But laze ard until I had no mood to think bout hw. How on earth am i going to get ani teeny weeny discipline like tt...manz...need to do some soul-searching...haven't really been studying like for the whole yr? haish...

My cousin's in VJC choir. coooool...got her to got for mi the signatures and pics of the sg idols...imagine i'm in her position...she got to talk to them for like 10min personally...each one...in onli like 1 or 2 days...I bet the pres has gone deaf after tt show...

Movies. I need to watch movies...nice movies...be out soon! Till then, cya! 2 wks more of non-stop 'music-ing'...Band and piano! HW, catch mi and torture mi...make mi start doing you asap...

Burst

2004-12-01T15:23:00.000+08:00

Everything didn't turn out smoothly, did they?

2 drops of tears. I didn't want to be in that position. I tried my best not to cry. The volcano of depression erupted.

My ONLY hope? To play the sad melodies on the piano. The Piano. But, my sad soul was tormented, stepped and hurt furthermore when the sorrowful melodies was deemed as noise pollution. I play the piano whenever I'm in no good mood. I mean, when I'm totally lost. I play to search for new hopes. Halfway, finding it, my dad said indirectly it was noisy, in a foul mood. I slammed the piano. What hurts me more is what he said after tt. "What have u taught ur daughter?" to my mum, angrily.

It's just those bits and pieces of hurting remarks, the facetious lies on my face and the ability to still swallow saliva down my throat when it feels choked. Choked with problems. Piled-up problems. Too much emotional and sensitive juices in my nerves. It kills me.

Burst. My lungs burst. And no one knows. The piano crashed. Shattered wooden pieces of piano lying motionlessly in my heart. And you know wad? No one knows.

Another day has past

2004-11-27T09:34:00.000+08:00

The title's ALWAYS quoted by jlo, esp after band prac. How come ppl always dunno how to rephrase wad is depressing to some other nicer terms? How come me, entering band, always hear 'aiya...so sian...', 'another day has past...waste my time...', even to the extent that I'm influenced by it. I thought we are supposed to join something that we're interested in? I thought it shouldn't be like studying at all...What's more? Tml tt's band prac, at 9AM! Wow...I just hope Mr Chiang doesn't do the same piece from 9-3.

I woke up at 1.30 today. How interesting. Skipped lunch...and ate 2 pieces of bread while watching 'Iron Chef', imagining how wonderful my 2 pieces of bread spreaded with nutella are...compared to the palatable dishes the Prince of Jap cuisine and Prince of Italian cuisine presented. Maitake mushrooms was the theme of ingredient...to think I was indulging in the thought of campbell mushroom soup...hmmmmmm...

Aniwae, felt super guilty ytd when sm was kinda frustrated with yx coz he was talking on the phone with me and neglected her...SM, my fault...sorry...but u know wad? U have a great bf...really. And then i hear mei's words..."dun jia jia la..." HAIYA, wad to do...

I went out with Ric just now to pass him his present...and wad a 'brilliant' greeting...he said I look fatter. I dun ask for more. I have a thought in my mind now. Get rid of my job and go swimming or at least do some exercise for the whole of dec. Ric said he wants to propose to one of his 4 meis tml nite, if he can date her out. Cool. Then, i told him abt my relationship with YQ. He didn't know it at all. He was blinded by my 'dunnos' when he asked how's YQ and me. A whole lot of nags came along the way...I told him it wasn't really stable, even till now...tml's the chance...glad. :)

Ytd nite, or morning, talked to Mei till I fell asleep...my gosh...so sry abt tt...i know u dun feel like sleeping coz ur As has finished...but i dunno why...just can't control my sleepy attitude...Oh yea, I went to PS just now and checked out the orchestra puzzle. LOOK AT THE PIC, OMG. I went cross-eyed the moment I saw it. Got so mani perfomers de meh? wa...aniwae, I went to ask the shopkeeper. U know wad?! She said no more stock for that puzzle. Darn...haish...my hope is gone...

Happy holidays! (I saw 133 buses with a santa claus' hat at the end of every bus...interesting and cool...santa bus...)

Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la...

Wad's wrong with moi

2004-11-26T10:58:00.000+08:00

How come when you are about to reach for relief, and u are glad that u are about to accept something u very much wanted to accept, it seems that there's sth NEW bothering in ur way? It's not the ppl that's bothering me, it's those problems. How come when I really want to reach and talk bout the problem, and this prob just refuse to let mi heal? Totally beyond my control. Is it not that I'm outdated & not following the trend? Or is it just that things just doesn't seem to blend into me?

Things are not the way it used to be. After a phase of journey, u suddenly realise that you've matured alot. But, wait, is it for the better or for the worse? Am I growing more self-centred? Am i going towards the path where sincerity cost much less than success? I believe, with sincerity itself comes success. I mean, sincerity towards ppl. But again, it might be tt sometimes, ppl do feel overly-sensitive, esp females, me.

I choose to let my happiness take over my sorrows in the mean time. Lucky me, it's 25th today. Finally. And i remembered, 26th is my 'best friend's' bdae. Are we best friends no more? I tried to ask him out many times on sundays, our 'usual' days for dates, but 'can't larh...', 'busy...', 'working...', 'going out with friends...' were the answers. I'm beginning to think that maybe, ppl just revolves ard constant friends, not permanent. Maybe never.
How long have i not watched a movie with my friends? How long have i said bout camping with those 2 big tents, and yet silence is heard? Silence does not mean consent afterall. Silence simply means doubting.

Everything change. So do I. -Silence- Still, Happy 17th Birthday, Ricky.

Oh Oh Oh

2004-11-13T04:05:00.000+08:00

RIGHT MEI...I DIDN'T ASK U TO TYPE THAT DOWN ON MY TAGBOARD!!!!!!! Mean girl! Lazy PIG!

Currently busy with lotsa stuff...so yea...sometimes lazy...sometimes due to 'unforseen circumstances'...I just didn't blog. Well, i have alot to do during this hols...Got a job as a telemarketer...right...and i have to call from YELLOW PAGES LATER!!!!! Anw, my first impressions of S'poreans is that they always 'kiap' the phone if they hear u're trying to offer them some free stuff. But I'm wrong! My 1st impressions are always wrong. wad to do? S'poreans actually care to listen to you, unless they are really busy. YA la...so gotta call until my ears are deaf and my mouth is tired...

Had class chalet recently in Sentosa. Fun! though I reached there like in the evening? hahaha...didn't stay overnight too...the place looks like a colonial house...so ooloo...but we had much fun down there, with Ms Cara Chew and Mr Tong. Tt idiotic tong showed mi card tricks...damn...and i was taken advantage!!! I ended up being Mrs Tong...well...lucky i was ONE of the Mrs Tongs...wth...

Band band band...these few days quite pissed off with ***...dun wanna explain...Explanation just waste my time. Gave up HK becoz of Band...oh well...

Having sec sch class outing soon. really glad. Gonna meet some of my classmates later...for a shopping spree!!! WOO LA LA!!!

Friendster testimonials are back too...yayyyyyy!!! Bout MSN messenger...dun think I'll be going back, unless miracles can come true...due to 'unforseen circumstances' again larh...I'll be frowning in the meanwhile.

Right, just realised I've typed an essay. and you, mei mei, pls go and study!!!!!!!! I MEAN STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!! The onli time i allow u to watch TV is the 9pm show. U better get out of my sight next year. I dun wan u to come back...

And...ya la...for him ar...will pray for him. and of coz, my beloved mei...jia you ar! Put you guys in the mighty hands of God! 25th nov!!! Here I come!!!!!

MOOD SWINGS

2004-10-13T02:43:00.000+08:00

I think I'm childish and naive these few days. Maybe i'm having depression.
I'm not going on. Delete this entry from ur mind totally if u see this. Allow ur brain for more storage space to memorize the maths formulaes, physics notes and econs. Never get angry, pls.
The higher I expect, the more i love, the greater the fall.

Zuo bo...

2004-10-10T07:30:00.000+08:00

Sian. Didn't go out today. AKG!!!!!!!!!! When are we going camping??!?!?!!! I've waited for months...months...months...AND MONTHS...!!!
After PW presentation, on not? If not...u all can throw away those tents liao...
I cannot stand it liao. I'm gonna say out. I dislike Marists. I dunno why. ba zi bu he. Except for Siwei kor, da wei (david), zhen cong...and maybe fredy, the 2nd floor guy who lives below mi.
I dislike taking initiative, sometimes onli lah...when i'm in a gd mood. I hate myself for not telling wad I dislike bout tt person to tt very person.
I dislike not being frank. Well, if a person is too liberal and too frank, will it do gd? We have to come up with facetious lies...bulls***...
Never ever Sa Jiao to me! Or else u better watch out. dun let mi catch u doing tt in front of mi. Otherwise, one punch will go right thru your face. I'm serious. Dun laugh.
Don't put on make up if u dun look gd on it, esp 'Paul frank'. Shoo, bit**. or plural form. Can u gals lessen ur chattery voices out there? It's thunderous...and super distractive!
I dun like ppl who are TOO humble. If you are gd and u deserve ur own praise, say it out. But, say it at the right time and dun make others jealous of it.
I feel like cutting my hair short. But i can't, if not all the rebonding will go to waste. Wassup?! Why do most boys like gals with long hair...bleah...
I know i'm a nuisance now. Dun like it, leave it. I'm showing my most horrid attitude now. I'd rather have gender discrimation then racial discrimination. I have a 'hate males' day. Wad do u say?
I hate my brother, but love my brother. Wad do you say? I'm pissed. You're pissed. That's great.
Stop showing the shocked faces. Unmasked ur true self. Are you similar to me as well?
Maybe not. Coz this society doesn't allow over-liberal actions. Myopic society. The nature of human and natural resources are ruined. Man are ruining themselves. I am too. Just for competition. I'm horrid. You're horrid. I'm pushing the blame. I'm selfish. I'm ignorant. I am a perfectionist. It's onli awhile i pity Crispy. Maybe he deserves it. Maybe he doesn't. Well, he's in sch all alone now, with us shunning from him. How sympathetic.
WAD DO YOU SAY? nothing.
Why? coz nothing means everything.
And "I am pleased to hear it."
"I do not temper anything of natural ignorance."
Everything quietens down. Not a single comment. And we, man, slowly accepts the society that is being controlled. We will be like robots, someday. Heartless. Just for competition.

Promos over!

2004-10-09T02:52:00.000+08:00

PROMOS OVER!!! PLAYTIME!!! well...haven't realli been studying much for promos too...all i can do now is pray...horrid me huh...
The phy and bio students are DISTURBING the lit students...does anione know tt? It's super distractive!!! Well...nvm...shall not go on...AKG is there too...
Saw Elim Chew yesterday, got XW's PW grp a deal...and the meal's on her the next time i see her!!! woo hoo! Shopping non-stop...mama5 took loads of neoprints...happi...sha la la la...(^_^)
Of coz, the science students' exams are still going on...here wishing AKG all the best...hang on and jia you!!! I want to see all of ur blog flooding with entries...hahaha...
All thanks to mei during the promos when i was bored to death...sorry for disturbing u also...oopsie...dun have sch until tues!!! yay!!! hahahahaha...
and...er...nothing. bye! continuing for ma playtime!!!

Happi flycian!!!

Back for more action!

2004-09-26T07:20:00.000+08:00

Days past. ok ok, I've not been blogging for dayyyyssssss. And I give the excuse tt my com is down. The real reason is my bro. My older bro. Some of u will know wad i mean. Ok. Not going to zoom into tt...
I made MOONCAKES!!! SNOWSKIN MOONCAKES READY FOR SALE? ah huh...no no...I'm just going ard to allow ppl to be my guinea pigs...hahaha...no lah...I've tested them myself. God...it's mighty delicious! Although it's real sweet...maybe becoz snowskin mooncakes are sweeter than the normal brown ones? Learnt from MJ...my sec sch buddie...She's a real hsewife...realli glad tt her mom helped us with the mooncakes yesterday...and i did those mooncakes for 4 HRS!!! well...it's a great achievement for mi, REALLI! u guys out there muz believe that my hands were sore after a continuous hectic day of mooncake-making session.
I've been thinking whether I've wasted my time and rather spend tt time on stardeeing. well...I'm lazy...and i could have spent yesterday lazing ard at hm...so I'd rather spend tt time doing sth meaningful! And i did! I mastered the skill of making mooncakes!!! Gonna get down-on-earth to mug for maths this weekend...and try not go get distracted by the slightest things...
Gave a packet of 6 to my dad to bring them to my grandpa, grandma, and 2nd aunt! Well, my parents tried them this earli afternoon...my mom didn't like them coz snowskin mooncakes are rather sticky and sweet...she prefer those brown ones. ah...same like mi...hahaha...but MJ didn't know how to make brown ones...tt's y i onli get to learn snowskin ones...Papa loved my mooncakes! Successful attempt!!! Gosh...i suddenly love snowskin mooncakes...coz tt's my DIY session!!!...not to mention I esp love mooncakes this yr...dunno why...haha...
Most probably, I'll be giving my piano tcher my self-made mooncakes tml...hope she doesn't get food poisoning (X)...hahahaha...and to my classmates on monday, AKG i also wanna give...so mani...but i dunno how to hand it to them...coz snowskin mooncakes get sticky if it's left in the hot weather...muz give them under freezing conditions...drats...how how how...
Then ya da ya da also muz give...oh yar, ricky also muz give...so mani...I'm afraid there's not enuf mooncakes to give out...
YQ, IF U ARE READING THIS, WATCH OUT!!! I've already mastered some cookery thingy hor!!! hur hur...I've succeeded!!! And i'm going to learn more!!! hehehehe...! dreaded yesterday coz cooking has alot of skills and steps...and it's darn hot when I cannot switch on the fan due to the dusty flour!!! aniwae...cooking's pretty fun! Gonna learn to whip up more dishes after promos...muahaha...guinea pigs...ani?
All right...gtg...I suddenli pondered over this qns. Why do we fall in love with someone? I dun mean fall in love due to tt person's gd qualities or looks...if so, we can love ani other person. But why, why do we love ONLI TT ONE person tt we wish for them to become our future husband/wife? hahaha...maybe it's not the time for mi to ask this kind of thing...not the time for me to be thinking bout this matter...but if u have an ans, ans mi via tagboard hor! I'm just curious...curiosity kills the FLY...
tk ca peeps! dun overstress urself...bubblie!

Chef fLy-fLy's Cooking Academy

Cool daes...

2004-09-10T07:40:00.000+08:00

Ooooo. Lotsa things to splurt out. haha! All right...let this STM fLy take my time, wriggle my butt, and settle down to type this teeny weeny bits of juicy news...er hemm...
Yesterday had Band prac. Well...Just look at Twinzee's blog, u'll know every single detail. So farni...didn't tot he'd noticed I'd walked the crab style just to not let him see the present. boo...unsuccessful. The *gong* was big lor. haha! Tessa and me had a marvellous, two thumbs-up divas mission as undercover witches! We were thinking at this place wad to get for Twinzee, tot lotsa alternatives like bag, sandals, slippers (coz his old one really CMI...haha!), self-designed shirt or baking cookies. Called SM for advice though YX's with her @ sports connection, coz we wanted to get him sandals as the slippers were not up to our standard...then i label the choices in numerical order to let her choose. So we agreed on slippers. Went to eat first. Duck porridge. Bleah...didn't finish it coz when I found it contains organs, my appetite went off. Tess saw Ms Agnes, her GP tutor...haha...they had a small chat. After, we headed to OP to find slippers, realised tt the one we spotted on is wad SI JIE (David) has...then we found this realli cool slippers, but it wasn't like for 24/7 use coz it's cloth material, under rainy conditions will get soaked ma...then u wear already not nice...So we went to some other shops and finally found one. ooo...the same shop as the divas' slippers. Tried on SOOOO many pairs of slippers...hahaha...then we decided to give him a funky striking colour slipper to match his personality and dun wanna make him look ah pek animore...haha! Sry ar, twinzee! hahaha!!! Well...know how we know ur slippers' size? haha! We asked JJ! So farni...2 times his phone was switched off and we panicked. Then the 3rd time i got through. Phew. Asked him his sizes coz his is equivalent to urs...haha...remember the daes when u guys change shoes?! hahaha! This crappy guy told mi his sizes in Japan, France, UK, US...wth...haha! all right...then we went back to the same old place to search high and low for sth to wrap the slippers. Saw buckets, but too tiny. Then tot of some weird ah ma's basket...haha...but no gd...tot of wooden bucket...too ex and heavy...tot of boxes...too practical and not fitting...then we went back to the buckets section and found this long bucket, unfortunately with no handles. haish. But it was just right to contain the slippers. We wanted green, yellow, purple or blue so to scare Twinzee. Tess wanted yellow, i wanted blue, so we decided to call MJ for the final decision. Settled for BLUE! yay! hahaha! I won 2 times. Coz during tt shopping spree, we were childish enuff to actually bet on which lift will come first, out of 4 lifts...I WON! hahaha...looking at Tess's expression, haha...i couldn't resist my laughter...all right, back to the topic, so we chose blue and tess didn't lose out as well coz she got her YELLOW crushed paper...hehe...
Then, hell lot, we were rushing like mad to the mrt station...Tess said wanted to wrap the present in the train...I tot that there wouldn't be enuff space due to the peak hour...so we wrapped the present right outside the control station...haha...basically tearing papers, price tags and all...Got onto the train...BUT, the train got stuck for quite awhile. After, we walked at the speed of light to sch with the *gong*...having wanted to surprise Twinzee...
Well, reached sch, late for 10min...hid in the toilet coz we wanted to grab MJ to sign the card...haha...then we went in together...gave him the present...Tess tot Twinzee wasn't surprised...well, i dunno abt tt...but i tot he's elated...keep saying whether it's an underwear...DUH...no way will Divas do tt k...hahaha...although Divas have funky ideas to get a present. haha! It was a tough one getting a boy's present though. We were grumbling when we couldn't think of any idea. haha...sang him 3 times bdae song...even jumble up my dates and wished him happi bdae on 8/9. dear sotong me...it's the 9th! So wished him a total of 3 times! haha...1st, the 8th, 2nd, midnight 9th, 3rd, thru friendster. have fun brud!
Haish. Then we tot Mr Chiang haven't come, so heng. But to our dismay, Mr Chiang actually called out Tess name and questioned her. Think he wanted to pick on me first. Hai. Throughout Band prac, she was down. Talked to her she sorta shunned me. Dunno wad happened. Tot she bui song me. Then later at night i asked Twinzee he said no. Realli dunno wad happened to her... Then i msged her the next day, which is today, and she's already feeling better. phew. Hope she's doing well now! Chill sis...
Band prac, well, basically fun. I played solo for the 1st time. wa...pressurized. I just recovered from my sickness and worse, my sore throat haven't cure! Then, my dear clarinetists 'very gd' lor...hahaha...all bombed mi with this solo...David was supposed to play it...then he went ga-ga over class outing so he didn't come. haha...Vincent didn't wanna play it, then Tess playing 2nd clar, so I became the scapegoat, the clari+pet (Clarinet playing 1st trumpet) for Princess Mononoke. Enjoyed it every single bit. Nice larh...but dun think i performed well enuff. bleah.
Talked to senior kor...change to senior jie leh...hahaha...u know who u are...haha! Chat with him almost until blardee 3am in the morning...hahaha...Talk bout his problems...Felt satisfied that he felt alot better after me providing him with the listening ear...although I'm like yawning my way throughout trying to open my eyes...and preventing my clarinet from freezing in the air-conditioned rm. haha! Didn't know he'll tell mi his probs...life is so much complicated for him...So just provide him with suggestions...also dunno who on earth is he thinking and focusing upon... haha...Aniwae...nice guy...i mean, nice sista.
Iman's leaving for Canada on SATURDAY 10AM. Drats. The outing on tues was cancelled becoz I couldn't make it due to my sickness. haish...why liddat...make mi feel so guilty...then this sat they're meeting at 7am at the airport. Man...I want to see him. But i'm having GP lecture at 8am. I dunno how I'm going to make it to sch but I am sure I need to rush down to see Iman despite wearing my sch uni. I dunno when will he be back the next time round. I muz see him. That's a promise to myself.
YQ wrote for me testimonial. hahaha...i think the 2nd or 3rd time...can't make out some sentences but was really sweet...thanks dar! Wrote him back one...hahaha...quite short though, compared to his...I was practicing my clarinet and his msg came. He has Noah's Ark and Jericho's melody! hahaha...I'm so going to grab these from him. He 'demanded' a reward...haha...I refused. and ya da ya da...
Twinzee stated his point that he still feels that YQ should be out for me coz I grumbled to Twinzee that my msg to YQ is replied after hours. Sorry if u guys are reading this. Aniwae, tot through...and YX, I think I'll go ahead with it. Doesn't matter so long as I can wait. Maybe u think he's awkward. I sometimes think so too...but so long as I care for him on the whole, i dun think the rest of the probs realli exist in my heart. The probs may be temporary. Dunno if he's going to hurt me, but I just do it based on my instincts and my feelings wholeheartedly. Dunno if I'm gonna suffer, but right now, I'll just thrust all these thoughts on my feelings personally.
Thanks for peeps lending me a listening ear. This entry's horridly long. Guess u guys fell asleep by now...haha! and yea, Sorry for the innecessary repeated taggings by me. Sth wrong with my com yesterday. hahash...have fun babes, dudes and all!

Days to Esplanade Performance @ the forecourt: 4 days
Days to reopening of NYJC (gdness gracious. haven't wriggle my butt, settle down and do a single work): 5 days
Days to fLy's BirthDate: 5 days
Days to Grade 8 Piano Practical Exam facing London examiner: 8 days
Days to Promos (and gdness me, I haven't prepare!): 20+ days

Wad on earth am i doing? haha...Taking my time to blog, Rest from recovery, slack, Practicing Piano and Clarinet, Going for Band pracs, Time wasted on msn (lotsa them! haha!), recently got a scolding from papa and mama due to the spendthrift me (boo...), none of sch hw. haish. Needa mug my hell lot of Differentiation & Econs Data Response today and tml. Ciao!

HapPili ReCoVeReD fLy

+fLyCian's World+

Sudden Realisation

-A Geisha's Job-

-A Longggggggg Complain Entry by the Hunting Queen-

No more schooling for me!!!

The Eve of the Eve of XMAS

yaya. sausage lips...fat lips...thick lips...piggiest pig!

A Tribute to the Lousy Queen Of Pigland

Drama Queen

Life as an Ordinary 'Princess'

Grandpa's 80th Birthday

Lost in touch with the world for 4 days

REVAMPED!!!!!

absent

unpredictable

prayer

recovery!

wad am i supposed to do

Fugged up day

A.L.L.

panic button

swensens

miss you

no point

so hurt

music for life

wish

it's not easy

sacrifice

waiting for tuition

males and females of the world unite

cried

Truth is...

Lives of people

blogs

fooooodddddd

no princess

heylo meylo

Angels and Demons

bargggghhh

whoa la

Final destination

like u've never...

Good

SYF

biting session

Fetish

hee

Recovered

TRUST

wishlist

Band

Believe

nothing

paradox of life

doodle diddly doo

hello

boo

Burden's over?

getting too literary?

On Love...

my my my

suffocating. but i'm going on. fighting strong.

'les choristes'

so much fun

JUN QI

Old Soul

wad a day. *frowns*

The BEDROOM and The BED-Part ll

-The BEDROOM & the BED-

Sigh

waiting...

Another day

crying...

pray

the boi

sheesh

thinking

NEW YEAR?

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2005!

wad a day. frowns